The Life of a Sheltered Schizophrenic

Prologue

[WARNING-- HOMOCIDAL THOUGHS]

You know, I don't really know what I was thinking. I had everything in front of me ready and set, but then it only took one person to convince me that it was alright to put everything back, and just, don't go to school.

They said it was okay to leave the clothes on I had on already. It would be unmannered to change back into the clothes I slept in last night. Whatever that meant. I walked towards the stairs that lead down stairs but stopped at the top step.

"What? What do you want me to do?" I asked them.

'Skip. Skip down the stairs it's alright....'

"Mmm... I don't know. I don't think thats--"

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                     Do it!

It's fine just do it!              D o i t

D O I T                                                                                                                          No, stop dont!

Why don't you do it? What could it do?

                          DO IT

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"Alright fine. I guess if you say it's okay," I replied unhesitantly. I took a few steps back before I started skipping. The moment I jumped down the first step, another one belted out,

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! STOP RIGHT NOW!

I stopped and jerked forward, losing balance.

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Hehe too laaaaaaaate~

                         How COUld YOu

                                                                   Awe, now look what you did. You ruined it!

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Some of the voices screamed while I tumbled down the stairs. Some of them laughed. I curled into a ball, putting my arms around my chest. And closing my eyes shut as tight as I could get them. I could feel every step hit my skin, I couldn't hold my voice in and screeched on the way down. The marble white stairs dug into my shoulder blades, crashed into my skull and I did nothing to try stop falling.

'Don't try stopping, you might hurt yourself more.'

But it hurts already...

'I know but listen to me and relax.'

I-I can't, I can feel how the stones feel on my skin. The pain that goes through me with each hit. It hurts I wanna stop now, this isn't fun.

'Listen to me and relax Lucian.'

The moment I heard they say relax a second time my body obliged and I took a deep breath. I relaxed and the last few steps didn't hurt so much. I groaned and heard a kid's screams and wails sound out as I fully relaxed and spread my arms and legs out onto the now black carpeted floor.

'See now that wasn't so bad was it?'

"Yeah, thanks...Voice."

Then she disappeared and the laughter came back. Along with the insults and bickering, I always heard. This is my everyday life. I get hurt every day, nothing special. I heard running come towards me, no actually it was to my kid sister who had witnessed the whole thing and was still screaming with tears streaming down her face.

"BRUDDER JUMPED DOWN THE STWAAAAIRS!!!!" She managed to screech out to my worried mother between sobs. I looked at my sister and chuckled, happy to hear something real for once, having been secluded in my room the night before for hours. My mother looked at me concerned, I tried not to look at her but failed and then started to scream.

"Are you okay, Lucian?" she asked genuinely concerned.

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      SHE WAS THE ONE WHO LOCKED YOU IN THE ROOM

S he s the o ne w ho wi ll die                                         che wants to hurt chu don che

Kill the monster.

GET HER WAY SHE'S GONNA DO SOMETHING AGAIN

You want her to die. Yes kill her. She doesnt want you

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"You were the one...that locked me in my room last night weren't you?" I accused disgusted. She gave me an incredulous look.

"Lumi no, I would never your door was o-"

"ARGH-- Stop! I know it was you. I should just kill you now..." I glared at her. I shook my head grabbing at my hair and pulling it. I looked at her again fear flickering onto my face. She looked

"No. I'm sorry mom-- I'm sorry..I want to love you. I can't-- just get AWAY," I yelled in desperation

She stood up with my kid sister and went to another room. I curled into a ball holding my head. I'm a monster, I wanted her dead. She didn't deserve to live. I should kill her, along with my sister. I want them de-

'Lucian. Calm your mind. You're not a monster and you don't want to kill them you know you don't. You know you love them. Listen to me. You're okay. Stay calm, take deep breaths. You know you're okay. Just repeat what I said.'

I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster I'm not a monster. I love my family. My mom. My little sister, Nikki. I'm okay...I'm okay...

This is normal for me. This is how I live. They take over, but there is always a couple there to help me. I can't control them. I never can. This isn't just something I made up. The few who block out the bad are my life saviors.

My names Lucian Fisher. This is my story of Schizophrenia. This is only the beginning.

[A/N: There will be more to come, don't worry! The parts are currently being written, be expecting more in the future. The next parts will be written in 3rd person though.]