Not an Ordinary Friendship

Introducing Jesse

  Well here we are  twenty four minutes past midnight and I'm up thinking of him. Not only him but all the things I would do and for him. If only I had the chance to  but sadly I'll be nothing more than a friend to him. Who is he  my childhood friend James that I've known since preschool. And me I'm Jesse 16 year old fun sized bottle of awkward awesomeness.
  James is 18 but we've known each other so long that the small age difference is barely noticeable to us or those around us. And what makes this even more painful is that our bond causes us to constantly be questioned of our status. Which is a constant reminder of our unforseen potential. This is the third night this week that I've stayed up pitying myself. And honestly even I think its pathetic.
  And knowing he's sound asleep while I'm stressing over all the possibilities. Is just making it sadder  I decide to finally text him and make plans tomorrow. Where I will hopefully  finally reveal my feelings for him. Unless I chicken out once again and play it off with something stupid and random.  The text read:"hey  are you busy tomorrow. Would like to meet up and discuss something if possible." And I was so scared I had to press send with squinted eyes. Surprisingly I felt relieved enough to finally get some shut eye. But I was not in anyway mentally or physically prepared for tomorrow's events. I dreamt of his response and how it could change things. More negatives came about than positives which meant even my subconscious was betting against me. Which sucked but hopefully. It won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head. God willing its not.