Chapter 1
Do you remember the days that you would wish that someday you’ll fall in love and he will love you back with the same intensity? Do you remember wishing that your first kiss would be with someone who would later on be your husband? Do you remember wishing that he’ll look at you in the eyes and say I love you? If you don’t remember those then I’ll ask you this silly question all of us girls know. Do you remember wishing that your crush would look your way and say hi? Uhuh. Well, me? I definitely remember myself wishing that. I also remember how my wish was granted. It was unforgettable…and I must add, very embarrassing.
Looking back, I still find myself smiling. If I did not wish… if Lord hasn’t heard… and if He hasn’t granted it… then you don’t have a story reading now.
Second day of class noon and the freshmen were all freaking excited yet unsure. Lahat kami were in a new environment except na lang for the kids who studied in the same school when they were in grade school. They were well known as rich kids to everyone, but they’re brats for me.
Ang tuition fee sa private school na ito is insanely high that my parents would surely have lots of overtimes at work. That’s why I despised it. Ayoko dito. I wish I could just go to a normal public school where students were less intimidating and less phony. Where there would be no shining new cars at the parking lot. Where hearing someone’s last name would not make the whole class gasp because they just learned they are classmates with someone famous or whose parents are.
To me, this school is hell. Sobrang high and mighty karamihan ng mga tao. Hindi ako mahiyain pero tahimik lang ako sa sulok. I only recognize few faces from my previous public school. Maliit lang ang lugar namin. Not even a dot sa mapa ng Pilipinas. Small enough to learn the latest gossips of the area but my parents were not social types. At sa tingin ko, they never will be. They only go to church on occasions because Sundays are their rest days but they prefer praying at home. Sa bahay kasi, hindi required ang magdamit ng magara para magdasal samantalang sa simbahan namin, pagandahan, pamahalan, pabaguhan ng damit, gamit at mga sasakyan.
Nakaupo ako sa second to the last row because I’m taller than the other girls. The male population of our class - hindi sila halos umabot ng kinse - occupies the last row and that made me even more uncomfortable. Kung ako masusunod ayaw kong may nasa likuran ko lalo na kung lalake. Conscious ako sa bawat galaw ko. Kahit na ba I’m a little bit of a tomboy myself, I can’t change the fact that teenage hormones makes me notice cute guys already and I don’t know how to deal with them with the girly girl way. Sanay akong nakikipaglaro ng habulan, bantay bahay o sipa sa kanila, not catching their attention through stupidly batting my eyelashes or twirling my hair.
When three of the male rich kids entered the room, nakasunod sa kanila ang mata ko, not noticing na lahat din ng babae sa klase ganun din ang reaksiyon. My gaze followed them but only the boy at the center caught my attention. He had this air of confidence in him that made me instantly envious. He was so comfortable in his own skin. Para bang super normal dito ang paglakad nito, pagsalita at paggalaw na habang ako ay conscious kahit na sa paglakad lalo na’t pag nag-iisa lang ako. His eyes also magnetized my admiring gaze. May kakaiba sa mga mata nito. Those dark eyes seem to hold intelligence and at the same time humor yet it seemed mysterious to me. I hate him for having those long curly lashes na mas nagpalalim sa mata nito. It’s unfair for a boy to have it habang ako, pinagdamutan ni Lord. I heard him introduce himself kahapon kaya alam ko na ang pangalan niya as well as his friends. Tumatawa ito ngayon with his two buddies and his eyes twinkled with mirth and were narrowed, the sides crinkled.
Physically, he was a statement of contradictions. His hair was styled in a purposely untidy way which contradicted his good boy look. His shirt spelled words that aren’t really good to read and hear yet they were ironed perfectly. His sneakers are new yet they have scribbles and little drawings.
I looked at him more closely. Sinusubukan ko siyang i-analyze na para bang he’s some kind of a math problem. He was clutching his stomach now like it would drop any second and his friend on his right kept slapping his back. Masakit malamang iyon pero hindi nito pansin dahil enjoy na enjoy ito sa pagtawa. They were a sight. Lahat sila gwapo. Walang favoritism. I almost smiled dahil talagang adorable ang mga ito tingnan lalo na si “confident boy”. And the boy’s laugh was like that of a baby being tickled.
They were talking about some seniors they’ve punked yesterday which was the first day of class. I eavesdropped a little more closely and then scrunched my brows nang narealize ko what troublemakers these brats are. I am a troublemaker myself pero I would never mess with the seniors.
Nagpatuloy ako sa pagsusulat sa notebook ko and when I twirled my pen it flew and landed on the boy’s shoe. Napasinghap ako and held my breath. Oh no. Oh no. Please no. Mula sa pen ko, dahan-dahang umakyat ang mga mata ko papunta sa mukha nito and then exhaled. He did not notice it. I’m safe.
Napakagat ako sa labi ko habang iniisip how in the hell can I get my pen back without them noticing me. Bumuntong-hininga ako at nagdesisyong kukunin ko na lang yun pagkatapos ng klase. I don’t want him to think that I want to get his attention like all the other girls in class. Binuksan ko ang pencil case ko at kinuha ang extra pen ko.
Napansin ko na katatapos lang ng recess. Tumunog ang bell at unti-unting pinuno ng mga classmates ko ang roon namin. Hindi ako kumain kasi hindi ko masyadong feel ang pumunta ng canteen. I’m still uncomfortable being in high school at ang makipagsiksikan kasama ang mga higher years would be too much.
Pumasok ang teacher namin kaya nagsitahimikan na kaming lahat. She shuffled our index cards with our names on it and picked one.
“Ryan, lead the prayer.” She said with an already bored look on her face. I could already tell she hates her job.
Habang hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ako kinakabahan, I slowly looked at my back and saw him smile charmingly at the teacher which made my heart jump in a silly manner. I found myself wishing that if only he would look at me with that smile. It’s like the sun rises and sets just for him.
Nakita ko siyang tumingin sa paanan niya and pick up my pen. Shit! Mabilis kong iniiwas ang tingin ko and faced the front with my heart drumming. I was mentally screaming at myself. Act normal. Pabalik-balik kong sabi sa sarili ko. Act normal! Para akong manequin na humihiling na hindi mapansin. Halos mabingi ako sa kabog ng sarili kong pulso. It’s not in a silly way anymore but in a scary paranoid way. I know! I’m paranoid.
I did not realize I was holding my breath until he passed me and went straight in front to lead the prayer. Holy… Inilabas ko na ang pinipigil kong hininga. Phew! But then I got worried again that he might ask who the owner is in front of the class is so I started fidgeting. Para akong naiihing kambing. Parang tanga lang. I think I have serious social anxiety. Nang hindi niya tinanong, I exhaled again at muntik na akong maihi sa relief. Gusto ko nang umuwi. Ayoko ng full attention ng buong klase. Sa kanya na yung ballpen ko kung gusto niya. Wala akong pakialam.
The day went by with me literally jumping at every sound. I was scared and half expecting the boy approaching me. I don’t want to talk to him because I’d surely trip the hell over my tongue yet I’m silently wishing he would.
Nang at last, tumunog na ang bell, I was thankful to go home. Nilagay ko ang mga gamit ko sa bag ko at nang isasara ko na ang bag ko, my pen was at my desk and when I looked up I saw Ryan’s back.
“Thanks for letting me borrow your pen.” He waved his hand like saying bye without looking at me.
Up to this day, I’d still smile whenever I would remember. Nakabitay ang panga ko sa mukha ko dahil sa shock. Mukha akong nawala sa katinuan. Then it dawned on me. He knew all along. Kung paano niya nalaman, I don’t know. And…did he just talk to me? I thought I was going to faint.
I know it was kind of early but that marked the day of my legendary and unforgettable crush for the rich kid Ryan.
And I’m totally going to preserve the pen he touched! Walang papalag.
