Strength Before Anxiety ✘ #TNTWillContest

Strength Before Anxiety

One foot in front of the other. Come on!! Stop it. Breathe. Breathe!! Breathe...

Step by step my anxiety worsened. I was the first one in the building, feeling down and upset. My friends were all at different high schools. It felt like my world was a pack but my pack was hunted by hunters and I was the lone wolf. The only wolf left to face her fears. But her fears were way worse this time.

Count... 1... 2... 3...

More people surrounded me. Staring, not knowing what to do. I just look down at my phone, being the anti-sociable person I am. At that very moment I was having a mental breakdown. I was never good at making new friends.

4... 5... 6..

I didn't have many friends at my old school but they were enough. Other kids from other places didn't like me very much. Cyber bully became actual bullying. Anxiety became a long road to depression. Depression became what is now loneliness.

7... 8... 9... 10... Do it again!

May 15, 2016 it started. I felt like Google+ was the only place where people would actually like my writing but I was wrong. "Kill yourself. No one really likes you anyway. No wonder why your mom pays more attention to your siblings; she knows how trashy you really are." So on and so forth.

1... 2... Why are they staring?... What do I do?... 3...

It only got worse. The worse it got, the lonelier I got. I never told anyone this before but it's time. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being sad. I made friends in the past why not now. They said I couldn't do it but screw them. They don't decide my future anymore I do.

4... 5... 6...

Freshman year, a room full of kids, and only one had said hello. The only person who made my day better. The one person I'm not afraid to tell my secrets to. After the one it became two, and then three, then four, and it kept expanding. My life wasn't as lonely. My life wasn't as depressing.

Until Cindy.

7... 8... 9...

My one love, my one passion was ripped away like a robber robbing a house of their precious jewels. Both times I wasn't picked, both times I was heartbroken. I was going to give up. But then I was given a slightly different opportunity. Sure it was hard and stressful but at the end, I had made some of the greatest friends in the word. And that's all I really wanted.

10...

"Hello." the brunette girl next to me said.

"Hi..." I quietly said in return.

"What's your name?"

You want to know what my greatest success was? Well... my greatest success was overcoming my anxiety when it was at its best and meeting the great people who made my freshman year, one of the best years of my life.