Annarexia

Two

Beep beep beep.

Deep breath in.

Beep beep beep.

Deep breath out.

Beep beep beep.

Open my eyes.

Beep beep beep.

Close them again because there is a whole bunch of people crowed around me staring in my direction.

"Anna," I hear an unfamiliar, partially formal voice say, "Anna I'm Dr Peters, I'm here to help you." I open my eyes again to see a woman above me, with striking green eyes and auburn hair tucked up into a bun. She looks kind, with olive skin that's slightly wrinkled but not by much, I suspect she's a similar age to my mom, which is maybe why she's giving off this motherly vibe, the protectiveness and the need to take care of someone becoming very present, but then again, she is a doctor, and that is her job.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, my throat is dry and scratchy, and Dr Peters instantly hands me a glass of water. I drink all of it in one go, and she takes it from my hands. "What were you going to say?" I look at her, then look at everyone else, both my mom and dad, brother and sister, and not to mention the several other doctors and nurses.

"Uhm..." I say before coughing to clear my throat, "can everyone else leave?" I say, barely a whisper. Immediately everyone bar my family walks out the door, and Dr peters looks at my parents pointedly. They reluctantly scurry my siblings and themselves out the door, until it's just me and the Doctor left.

"Well, Ms Arlington I'm sure you're aware of why you're here?" She says softly, taking a seat beside my bed.

I try to sit up - and fail miserably - looking down at my lap. "I uh, fainted." I say, hoping that maybe somehow a trained professional might have skipped over the fact that I haven't eaten at all in two weeks and not properly for almost half a year.

"Anna." She sighs, writing something down on the clipboard I didn't realise she had. "Do you know where we are right now?" She asks, her head slightly tilted and her eyes trained on mine.

I swallow a lump in my throat, "The hospital." I say straight.

She nods, "The mental Heath ward of the hospital." I purse my lips and close my eyes, the day I've dreaded has finally come.

"Oh."

Dr Peters reaches over and places her hand on mine. "And do you know why we're in the mental Heath ward?"

That question is easy, perhaps the easiest of them all, but definitely the hardest - at exactly the same time. "Because I'm mentally unstable." It comes out as more of a question, a question of my self, of my being, and of my worth. Of my everything.

She sighs, "I'm afraid so." Empathy is evident behind her eyes, but only for a flash, she has to be professional. And so after a moment, Dr Peters straightens up, running her hands over her skirt and standing up. "Which is why you'll be staying with us for a while, we're going to keep you in this room for a few days, so we can monitor you; and then we'll move you to somewhere more, homely." Homely, because I won't be able back at my real home. Who knows for how long.

She walks across the room and stops at the door, without turning to face me she says, "Would you like me to tell your family that they can see you now?" I think, yes I actually have to think about that.