The Bloodshed Killing

Chapter Sixteen

"Human beings are free except when humanity needs them. Maybe humanity needs you. To do something. Maybe humanity needs me—to find out what you're good for. We might both do despicable things, Ender, but if humankind survives, then we were good tools."
― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game   

    ▪▪▪    

I close my eyes so tightly that when I look up at the ceiling I see stars. Then, I hear my mother's voice speaking to me and beckoning for me to go with her. Mom, I want to go so badly. I want to leave this place and never come back. Please, take me. Please. I beg for my mother to put me out of my misery, but she doesn't answer. Instead, Haris comes to see me again.

His image falters in front of me. He's there one second and then he's gone, like he was never there in the first place. I shut my eyes tightly again, hoping that it's all a dream and I'm actually home, laying in bed with Max by my side and my father watching over us, like the protective father that he should be.

Please, let this be a dream. Please, let this be a dream.

My pleas are knocked short when I hear footsteps bounce off the cool cement walls. They echo around me, like a million people are approaching from all different directions. My chest rises up and down in anticipation of the miscreant's arrival at my position. I lay there, hopeless and defenseless against the evil that nears.

Then, it stops. The footsteps stop. The pounding in my head stops. Time stops, when I see the shoes that stand before me. The shiny, black leather dress shoes with dry blood adorning their tips. Zweber. The pernicious German man stands before me once again. I don't dare to move my eyes from his shoes. I can't look at his pale face, reflecting the souls of those that he's killed.

"You can't kill anozer man, Alsea. It'll make you crazy."

His voice taunts me like it did once before, making my head spin. I don't know what he's here for or how he found me, but I know that I have to end him this time. With all my strength, I slowly push myself off the floor one limb at a time, until I'm on my knees. He stands there, waiting for me to be at my full height.

A surge of courage rushes through my bloodstream and I make the mistake of looking at him in the eye. His irises are missing and have been replaced with the same white as his sclera. The pupils in his eyes are now dark, like a never-ending abyss.

I try to scream at the sight, but nothing comes out of my throat. I can only stare into those lifeless pupils that begin to replay the last moments of my mother's life. Please, stop it. I don't want to see it anymore! I mentally beg for it all to go away, but an invisible force locks my vision onto his eyes.

I open my mouth and force myself to scream, but only large breaths of dry air are able to come out of my throat. It's like I'm living in a nightmare where I'm falling off an endless cliff and can't scream or hold onto anything to stop the fall- but it's not a nightmare. I'm living my life with cunning demons luring me towards death.

I ball my fists at my side and force everything out of me. It's at this moment that the fall finally has an end. I scream until my throat is sore and I'm sure that blood is piling up inside. The cry is so loud that it echoes off the walls and continuously rings in my ears.

The picture of my mother in Zweber's eyes fades to black and is replaced by an image of me stabbing Adal and Zweber. The look of relentlessness and ferocity in my eyes shock me. I stop screaming and try to get up, but immediately fall back to the ground when I apply pressure to my left leg. My body drops and my head crashes against the cold, dry floor. For a moment, everything is black and a spark of hope ignites inside of me, but it quickly ceases to exist when I open my eyes and see that Zweber is gone.

None of this is real, Althea. Zweber isn't real. Haris isn't real. Your mother's voice isn't real.

The harsh truth sickens me as blood furiously rushes to my head. It would be easy to just lay on the cold floor and wait for death to take me, but something inside of me tells me to live. If I can't live for myself, then I should live for my mother. She would have wanted me to keep fighting, no matter how hard I've fallen. She would have wanted me to get up and endure the pain that life will bring me, because something beautiful will always come of it.

I struggle to get up again, grabbing at every shelf in reach and stumbling over each box near me. Anxiety rises up inside of me, as it takes all my energy to get up from the cold, welcoming floor. My hands clench for support and my heart beats for life.

I lean my body against a shelf, trying to stabilize my shaking legs. Come on. Just take one step. Just one step. My left leg frantically convulses as it tries to hold my weight. JUST DO IT! WALK, ALTHEA! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

I push my right leg in front of me, but it gives out and I fall to the ground again. I pound my fists against the cement in defeat and out of rage. After enough punching to the floor, my hands are drenched in blood, but I don't care. All I want is to go home, turn on the TV, and sit with Max as we laugh at his favorite shows.

"Do you need help?" The strange voice fills my ears, like a lullaby. Those four words are all that I've been waiting to hear these past two hallucinating days. The stranger reaches out his calloused hand in front of me and waits for my decision.

I lock eyes with him- his kind brown eyes. Wrinkles form on the edges of his eyes as he offers me a smile. His smile is wide, but holds so much tenderness and sympathy. He's an old man with no business here aiding a broken and physically tormented teenage girl.

I reach up my shaky, bloody hand and place it inside of his. His strong, thick fingers wrap around my small hand and he grasps my elbow in an attempt to steady my body.

"It's okay," he repeats as I launch an arm over his shoulder.

He aids me out of the pharmacy and slowly leads me to his quaint, blue house as the clouds above us threaten to spill rain once again. 

    ▪▪▪ 

Hello, loves!

I am thinking about changing my update schedule to Thursday or Friday. I don't know, yet. I just started school again yesterday and I'm still figuring out my schedule. 

Anyways, on a side note, I can't find a gif that would go well with this chapter, so I'm not putting one in. Lol. 

XOXO, Patty