If You Only Knew

Save Me

I was sitting at the far side of the bar just thinking to myself..."what is the point?" I hated myself a little when these thoughts bled threw; I hated I had them, I hated that I gave into them and worst of all I hated that they were because of him. He promised me that the last time was the last time and in my infinite stupidity I believed him. So now it was hard to tell if I hated him more for putting me through that or myself for being in that toxic situation instead of listening to my better judgement and telling him to get the fuck out of my life. Yeah, it's easy to say that now in my head while working on my third drink.

I looked up from my drink at all the people in the bar around me. At all the happy people having a good time, at all the couples and at the groups of friends. It wasn't long ago that I was like one of those people...laughing, loving...happy. "Ugh" I heard my audible sigh and took another sip of my drink. Why? Emotions are the worst. A few more minutes went by as I continued to 'people watch' when a glass suddenly appeared with a thud next to me. I jumped a little with a gasp and a sharp intake of breath.

"I'm so sorry, did I startle you?" I heard the question plainly enough but when I look up and saw those deep eyes looking back at me I couldn't get any words to escape my mouth. They were a strange mix of both warm yet piercing. "Are you ok?" he asked with a concerned tone "I didn't scare you that much, did I?"

"Err...no...no" I heard myself say, nice one idiot, my head told me. "You just surprised me." I said, trying to rescue myself "I was just thinking to myself.. in my own little world I guess" I assured him.

"Ah yes" he said with a nod and a chuckle, "I have one of those places too and go there quite often". I could feel my face getting warm and looked down at my drink. "May I join you?" he asked.

"Err...well...yeah...sure...if you want to..." I stuttered, the words uncontrollably falling out of my mouth. He smiled a smile at me that gave me a quiver as he sat on the unoccupied bar stool next to me. I studied his face as he drank down the last of what looked like Guinness from his glass. I had never seen anyone like him before. He has a kind face with prominent features; hazel eyes, strong jaw line, thoughtful brow, long, curly dark brown hair that put me in mind of Jimi Hendrix...and soft looking lips; what am I thinking! "Can I get you something?" he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What?" I suddenly questioned, "drink? Can I get you another drink" he motioned to my empty glass with his. I looked down and saw my glass as well as the bar maid awaiting my request with a frustrated look. "Oh sure" I said "same again please" I said passing my glass to the bar maid as she purposefully rolled her eyes as she walked away to get the drinks. Oh why did I have to be so awkward, I never used to be like this. "So" he started "what's got you so lost in thought tonight?" he asked as he put his elbow on the bar and rested his head in his hands...he has very nice hands...

"Oh, nothing just life, you don't want to hear my problems" I said dismissively.

"Well, that's where you're wrong" he informed me and as my eyebrows gave away my confusion he point over the other end of the bar "you see I was standing over there talking to a friend of mine when I saw a very gloomy, but still very pretty looking women sitting on her own and I said to myself that I had to do something about this!" He said this sentence with some playfully enhanced dramatics that made me laugh in a way that I haven't done for a long time.

"Ah I see, so you're one of those 'knights in shining armour' that I've heard so much about?" I queried, feeling a little flush of confidence.

"I don't like to brag but I like to think I would be there for a damsel in distress" he said, bowing his head at me slightly.

"Well, I hate to let you down 'sir knight' but I'm not so much a damsel in distress more of a fool with regret" I said with a sign. You're been a downer again, my head said, no one likes that.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I can adapt" he said with a grin that actually made me chuckle. Amazingly he was making me feel a little better already, I think I have smile and laughed more in this short time than I have for the pass week. The bar maid came back at that point with fresh drinks and he gave her some money.

"So, what's got you feeling foolish and full of regret?" he asked taking a drink.

"So, you what to know me?" I asked, trying to avoid the question

"Oh of course I do" I said with a slight smile appearing in the corner of him mouth.

"Well, let's see, what is there to tell you about me...I read a lot and I love listening to music; also enjoy biking and watching films. I study English literature at university. I moved to this area about a year ago and have a great family of me my mum, dad and my elder bother" I inform him.

"Well, now we are getting somewhere! All very interesting subjects, some of which I also share the pleasure of! Likewise I love film, books and music. Not much of a biker but I too go to university but for physics and maths and also have a great family...no bother though...or sister for that matter!"

Everything he said made me smile, he spoke to me in a way that was a mix of concern and humour. A way that I had never been spoken to before. I liked it.

"However" he said while point at me "that doesn't explain why such a pretty young women looks so sad in a fun setting such as this" he said, gesturing at the pub.

We had only just met a few minutes ago but something about him made me feel save, like nothing I said would make me feel stupid or petty. Not like he use to make me feel...

"Okay, okay" I said with a sign "you win, but remember you asked for it!" I warned. He just sat there with an attentive look. "I broke up with my boyfriend of eight months a few days ago when I caught him cheating on me with my friend in his flat...it wasn't the first time but, like an idiot, I believe him when he said it wouldn't happen again. Glad you asked?" I said with a smirk, averting my eyes from his. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "so you lost your boyfriend and your friend in the same day. It's no wonder you are so sad" I looked back at him "what an asshole!" he added. I burst out laughing as I was taken by surprise by his forceful statement and he laughed along with me. "That guy was the fool and its his loss" he told me.

"You think so? You don't even know me I reminded him.

"Maybe not, but I'm a pretty good judge of character and no one deserves to be treated that way" he said putting a hand on mine gently. As he did I felt joyful shivers all through my body...I liked the way it felt and I needed more.

"So, now you know my pain, do you have some way of making me feel better?" I asked him with a playful smile while entwining my fingers with his.

"Now that you mention it; I do hold some magical secrets...if you would like to see them" he asked with a sly smirk then bit his lower lip for just a second; something that made my whole body tremble with anticipation.

"I think I would like that" I said, gripping his hand a little tighter than before.

"Then let's get out of here then" he said confidently. I got up as he did and we made our way through the crowd. Just before we got out he looked at me and said "I'm Brian by the way"

"Claire, nice to meet you"

*****

Hello to anyone who has read this! Firstly this is my first story here so thank you so much for reading. I am always open to feedback so feel free to comment in anyway you feel and I will have some more soon. Thanks again x