Robinsomnia

3. Messes

The team arrived at the Mountain three hours later, exhausted.

Without noticing his surroundings, Wally started to drag himself to his room. But Artemis grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the tube.

"What's the big deal? I just wanna go curl up in my nice cozy--" He finally notice what everyone was staring at.

The mountain was a wreck. There was glitter and an unmeasurable number of feathers covering the walls and floor. Anywhere that wasn't coated in sparkles or multicolored plumage was covered in red, yellow, or black paint. The furniture was overturned and scattered everywhere it shouldn't have been.

Everywhere in the Mountain that they looked had received this treatment. The kitchen, the TV area, even their personal bedrooms had been vandalized.

The team regrouped in the main area of the mountain, trying to wrap their heads around what they were seeing.

A voice came from above. "Hey, guys. You're back." Robin dangled from a trapeze he had somehow attached to the high ceiling. "It's about bloody well time."

A net, previously unnoticed at their feet, suddenly snapped up and lifted them all five feet into the air.

They could hear him cackle as knockout gas hissed out of canisters behind them. "I've been waiting for AGES."

xXx

Conner was the first to wake up. He was outraged to find himself wearing a Superman pajama onesie, complete with a cape. He was dangling by a rope wrapped around his chest, he assumed to make it look like he was flying.

Conner looked down and saw all the others waking up in their own personal mortifications. Artemis was dressed as Robin Hood, curled up on the floor next to Wally, who was in an old-fashioned dress. M'gann was, for some reason, dressed as a campfire with red, orange, and yellow tissue paper flames coming from her cardboard "logs." Worst off was Aqualad, who not only was wearing a mermaid tail, a red wig, and a seashell bra, but also was floating in a giant fish tank. A giant piece of fake kelp and the rocks in the bottom were the sole decorations.

Wally scrambled away from Artemis as soon as he realized where he was. Then he noticed he dress.

"Why am I wearing the dress?" He stared to pull it off, but realized that he couldn't.

"Why, you're Maid Miriam, of course!" Robin's voice echoed around them. "What, you think I would make YOU the archer? Fat chance."

"Robin, what are you DOING?!" Artemis yelled as Superboy freed himself and came crashing down.

"Well, Mr. Hood, I'm simply having the time of my life. Hey, Campfire, feel free to roast Miriam." He laughed at his joke over the speakers. "Oh, Ariel wants to say something. You might want to let her out of her tank." Another fit of laughter.

"I get Aqualad's, and Superboy's, but what's with Megan's?" Wally asked as he helped Kaldur out of the tank.

"It's 'cause she's HOT, and Conner wants S'MORE!" A chuckle. Miss Martian blushed. "Honestly, though, I couldn't think of anything else. It was either that or that one Marvin Martian dude, and I didn't feel like going through all that trouble."

Considering the detail on their getups, no one wanted to know what "going through all that trouble" meant.

"Robin, why are you doing this?"

"Because I got bored. But then I found the candy stash! It does wonders for exhaustion!" Yet another bout of laughter.

"Dude! You need to chill, and lay off the sugar! And HOW DO I GET THIS DRESS OFF?" Wally shouted, trying to pull it off.

"Ask Other Robin to help you with the zipper." M'gann started forward, but a firecracker went off between her and 'Maid Miriam.' "Nuh-uh-uh! I said ask OTHER ROBIN. Campfire is not Other Robin."

M'gann set up the mind link. What's going on with Robin?

I cannot say for certain, but--

Dude, SUGAR. ROBIN GOT SUGAR. We're SCREWED. Last time this happened, all we could do was wait for it to wear off, and that was with the ENTIRE LEAGUE there.

Can't we do something? M'gann asked.

Just don't make him mad. He will make you absolutely miserable for the next hour.

"Care to include me in the mind link? It's no fun watching you guys think."

Aqualad gave a resigned sigh. Perhaps all we can do for now is play the madman's game.

A deep breath, then a high-pitched voice echoed around them. "Hey! I sound like a chipmunk! Helium is so great-- Oh, I'm lightheaded."

xXx

An hour and a half later, Robin stopped giving orders over the speakers.

Conner looked up from where he was making cookies (at Robin's request) with M'gann. "That's the first time he's shut up since we woke up."

"I'll go find him." Wally volunteered.

He found Robin curled up on his bed, surrounded with all manner of candy wrappers and cookie crumbs, listening to music with his earbuds.

"Hey," Robin muttered as he rolled over onto his back. Wally was surprised. Usually, Rob was out like a light by now.

"What's up, man? Usually, you pass out after sugar."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. That's one of the reasons I tried it."

"'One of'?"

"I was bored, too."

"Of course. Now, are you going to sleep now?"

Robin laughed at his friend's redundancy, but then grew serious again. "Can't."

"What do you mean you can't? You got absolutely NO sleep last night."

"I am physically incapable of sleeping." He shrugged and held up his hand, which was covered by a crude but startlingly accurate handpuppet of the Joker. "And I never got to put on my puppet show."

"Rob. What do you mean 'physically incapable'?"

"I am completely exhausted, and for some reason, I still can't sleep. You know that knockout gas I used on you guys? I tried it on myself before you guys got back. Guess what happened?"

"It didn't work."

"How d'you think Catwoman and the Joker would get along?" He held up his other hand, which had a Catwoman puppet. He rubbed the two depictions' faces together. "I feel like they would start out like you and Arty did, and kinda just kinda keep hating each other until BAM. Batman has to put up with another teamup. Kinda like you two." He grinned at his speedster friend.

"Woah, dude. Chill. This isn't a harbor. No ships."

"I'm gonna have to disagree with you on this one, mate. We're in HAPPY HARBOR." He clutched his stomach in a fit of laughter.

"Just... stop. I'll get M'gann. Maybe she can find out what's up with you."

I just had to say that this chapter was exactly 1111 words long. That is all.