Death Note Ryuzaki back the f**k off ...sincerly Yuko

chap 23 Warped

  We checked into a motel two nights later. We managed to travel there without being followed. With spare cash I bought a gray sweater, scissors, and black hair die. In the bathroom of the cheap hotel room I take a shower. Light, waits outside watching TV. Steeping out the shower I dry my skin thinking of all the errors I've done in my life. My wet hair drips down my face. Looking up I see the hair die, and scissors sitting on the sink edge. Half dressed in my black braw and jeans I look at my stressed filled body.  When was the last time I've eaten a descent meal? Now that I think about it, I don't think I've been hungry for a while. The light flickers, the rusted mirror showed me my tired eyes.

Who am I anymore?

   "...AAH!" punching the mirror with my bare fist is cracks in the center of it. Falling back on my butt my back rests on the white door of the bathroom entrance.  Covering my hands with my face I kick the wall to the side of me. "FUCK!" I don't want this life. I don't want to keep being alone. Was this really the only way to be free? Im so confused!

"Can I come in? " Light asks outside the door.

"....I don't know." I answer not getting up.

"..."

"You know...this is like a war between good and evil. Everyone is out to get you, and your out to get everyone that gets in your way. ...They say before you start a war, you better fucking know what your fighting for. ...I think I started this war unsure of what side to be on. I was so happy.. I use to think my life was average to others. Nothing special.  But now I see I use to live in heaven compared to this. Your all that I adore, Light. It's pathetic isn't it? I threw everything away in one decision.  ...I don't think heaven will ever take me back after this. Im unsure and unsecure. So im finding myself wondering if...I made the right choices starting from the day you helped me at the playground."

"Why is it your the only one that is?"

"I don't know."

"Im not regretting anything.  Only not killing Ryuzaki when I had the chance. "

"..." Im in love with a criminal... He's a loser and a murderer. I don't know how many times those lines ran through my head. Opening the door I hand, Light the scissors. "...Don't mess up my hair." I tell him.

He takes the scissor making our hands meet. "Right." He answers. 

Taking the scissors in hand

My hair gets cut before my very eyes. My brown long hair. Gone before my very eyes. I wanted change so desperately im resulting to this. When it's all done my hair isn't even past my shoulders. It stops at my ears. Light, grabs the bottel of black paint and begins to mix it in a small cup. Grabbing my hips he sits me down on a chair. I watch as the paint stains my hair.  The color of darkness...black.  It matches the bags under my eyes.

To not stane my cloths I stayed in my jeans and black braw. A bit later Light, orders pizza. Funny. We're running away yet we act completely normal, still ordering take out.  Laying in bed I stare at the cracked ceiling. Rolling on my side I stare out the window. A parking lot and a few cars here and there, that's all that's out there.

"Im going to take a shower. Ok? " Light asks.

"Yea." I answer, my back to him.

"..." The bed shifts when I feel something warm on my lower neck. Jolting a bit I realize it's Light's lips. Clinching my fists I remember the time we kissed, then he attempted to kill me. I feel his hand on my bare skin stomach, as he does it. Bitting my lip till it bleeds I quiver.  Im guessing he noticed because he got up and headed for the shower.  Jumping out of bed I scratched the back of my neck attempting to wrip the skin off. Making my shoulder bleed.

"Ooo haha... Why so jumpy all of a sudden? " Ryuk asks standing in a corner behind me.

"Where have you been all this time?" I ask him hugging myself. I can't stop shaking.

"Heheheheee...around. "

"..." Getting up I throw an apple at him. "Here you fat ass. That's the only reason you came right? "

Eating it he laughs. "No not really.  I just wanted to see how you rare humans are handling this...delema of yours."

"...We're fucking perfect. "

"Hahahaha! I can tell! Especially with your huge weight loss, and the blood dripping down your back."

"Shut up! "

"Well, I'm not one to give information for the benefit...buuut."

"But? "

"I wanted so desperately to see your reaction to the news of your fathers release from jail."

  My body hits a bullet. It hits a propeller of a passing ship. The devil...is mocking me. My pupils get lost in a sea of black. Stepping back I grab a table for support, only to tip it over. A chair behind me falls as I trip over it. Opening the bathroom door Light, shirtless and pulling his pants up asks. " What's going on?"

"H-he's free! That's not fair! It's not fair! " Grabbing the chair I pick it up throwing it against the wall. "IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT!" Covering my ears I try to close myself out of the world. Getting in a corner I slide my back down the wall.  Breathing heavy I lose my breath. My heart is about to burst in denial. I begin to pull my hair and gasp for air. I feel like im in a box and im suffocating. Gagging for air. Every second I suffered under that house hold flashes before my eyes. Like a never-ending hell...

"Yuko! Yuko! Hey! " Light shouts grabbing my wrists. I faintly hear him but I don't break to my sences.

"Hehehehe I see I hit her breaking point." Ryuk says swallowing the core of the apple.

"What did you tell her? "

"The news of her loving daddy.  He was set free last week for good behavior. "

"...Tsk... He took innocent people's lives and they released him on acount of good behavior! "

With a shrug Ryuk chuckles. "People."

"Tsk..Yuko." Turning back to me, Light grabs me by my upper arms forcing me to stand.  Pinning me to the wall with my upper arms Light, continue's to calm me down as best as he can. "We can stop him! We can give him punishment! As the new gods! "

All my tears are dried up but my eyes burn from them watering up. "...Punish? " I ask shaking in his hands. Even my lip raddles a bit.

"Yes...isn't that what you want?"

"I...I do? "

"Yes...all this time, you want him to die, you want him to die by your hand, you want him to die a gruesome death! " Light, leans his forehead on mine. This corner is beginning to feel tighter and tighter.  Putting a hand behind my neck he whispers, trying to sync the want for murder in me.

"For him...to die? " I ask.

"Yes! Come on! We can do it anyway you want. Anything you want! "

"...Any..anything..." ...All my logical thinking...everything I stood for, all my standard...are overwriten. He laughs Kissing my forehead.  Almost as if he where blessing me to a new religion. 

   Im sitted down on his lap in front of the cheap hotel coffee table. A pen in hand, his over mine. His other arm wraps around my waist. The death note layed out in front of me is open to a blank page. "...He can die, you'll be the one to save innocent people that, he would kill. Who else is more up for the job then you?" Light says in my ear.

   I begin to move the pen in my hand.

(Here's a shout out to AnimeMadness, ow my goodness! Your last comment made my day! I love your enthusiasm! Im so humbled that you show so much emotion in my fanfic. Hope you continue to read till the end ♡. Also a shout out to my most lovable fan AmaiUchiha! Thank you so much for your support, and big heart ^^.)