Decisions

The Proposal

It is quite embarrassing how late this update is. Long story short, a lot of things happened after my exam, all of which I didn't prepare for. Not bad things, but I just got a lot busier with school and applications.

And of course after all that were holidays, and interviews rolling in. It's safe to say that I didn't have a lot of down time to really write.

However, now that the holidays are over, and I have some time, I decided to go back to this and hopefully keep updating until the end. I think it's about time I do that. You all deserve to know how this ends.

Please enjoy this overdue chapter :)

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When the two of them finally rose to greet the day, Soo tried to quell her nervousness as she got ready. After sending So off to court and making sure that Seol was taken care of, Soo sat down at her desk to take care of some book-keeping. Ever since Seol was born, Soo wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, and it was decided that Soo would do most of the work from her chambers while Arang and Eun Bi supervised the court ladies at Damiwon. Several times a week, Soo would go in herself to check on things while Arang or Eun Bi took watch over Seol.

Today was one of those days Soo would work from her chambers, but after a few attempts at calculating the supplies for the week, Soo decided that her mind was too occupied with today's potential events. Instead, she pulled out her blue silk-bound journal with peonies on it to write down her thoughts.

Ever since she had received the journal as a gift, Soo decided that it would be her personal journal. She only ever wrote in Hangeul, wary of prying eyes that would look upon her thoughts. Despite writing in Hangeul, she took care to keep the journal away from anyone's eyes, excluding her husband's. She knew that if people saw she could write in a different language, they would suspect her. Dipping her brush into the ink, Soo began to write.

When I first arrived in Goryeo, I would have never thought it would come to this. Granted, I never thought anything could be possible until I arrived here. Still, the idea that I am married to a prince who is in direct line for the throne is still hard to believe.

So already went to court, and I'm left to stew here in our quarters. The King has told me he would reveal his heir today, and the thought of him becoming king....

That means I would be a queen? I'm sure every girl dreams of being a princess but a queen? I don't have the proper training and there aren't many people who can teach me. Asking my mother-in-law is out of the question.

I know I am worrying needlessly. I know that So will help me as much as he can, but I can't ignore the fact that he will be even busier as king. Perhaps there are some books I can read to help me prepare. Though I should be careful about such inquiries before anything has been announced. I can only imagine the looks of the scholars and librarians when I ask for books on how to be a queen. Could you just imagine the scandal? Or perhaps it wouldn't be called a scandal here; it would be called treason.

Sometimes I wonder how it will be if I had gone back to the future. Or if I was able to go back. Would I have been able to save Lady Oh's life? Would history have stayed the same?

Do I regret living here? Perhaps there have been things I wished didn't happen. If Lady Oh was still alive, I would probably be living outside the palace now, wouldn't I? I wouldn't be in this situation, nor have any chance of marrying So. For all I know, I could have died of old age as a random girl in the village with no family.

However, I don't regret loving So. He has changed my life in so many ways. I couldn't imagine going back and finding another person. There would be no one like him in the future. Literally and figuratively.