WHY?

Me

          Knowing who am I sometimes makes me question myself more. If I deserve to be this person or do I really am that person? Sometimes I just want to cry but I always stop because I realize that I don't have any reason to cry. I am a student yet I have needs that I don't understand. I always stop myself to do things that aren't appropriate yet I still continue to do those things and crave for it.

        I am me but I tend to do things that the 'me' shouldn't do. I don't crave attention to everyone yet I crave attention to some people and if I say some people, they are the people that you wouldn't know and what to talk to, not because they are bad but because they are unreachable. They are the people that are not like me. people that will never like me, from the words that they speak to their culture.

       I am me yet I question myself, "Is my life still enough for me or my life is enough yet it's still not for me?" I ask that question to myself even I don't realize it, that question is under my brain. Always lies to my mind. I always think how long will I live this earth and if I can do my life purpose. I always think of the future than to the present. I always the present behind and think ahead of the future whether it's a good or a bad one.

       If you know me, you wouldn't think that I can write this things. I'm not a person who looks that I think about this stuffs. i am me yet I like to pretend that I even forgot who is behind this mask. I used to laugh in a real way but I copy someone that I even forgot did I even laugh before I did that. Behind this mask, I don't even know how to act, I don't even know how to speak, I even don't know what should I do, and I even don't know who I am.

      I used to be this person but as time passed by, I changed, not because of maturity but because I'm scared. I used to be this person yet I change to cope up with the people around me. KI used to be this person but now, I am a person who is far form my old self. I am this person yet I changed to someone who I don't know and I even don't know who am I before. I know who am I but I don't know who am I. I used to enjoy things, but as I say, I used to. Even with friends.

       I struggle with these things. I face many problems. I have many obstacles in my life. I even face my self. One of my greatest enemy is my self because it thinks about this things which I shouldn't. I am me, and I hope you wouldn't be like me. Love, enjoyment, peace, and joy, those are the things that I want to have but as I always strive to have those, I always realized that I can't have those, even one.