fallen angels

05

     05.

          the sun was up, and it irritated me somehow. i wasn't in a mood for the sun to shine on my face, it just made me feel like i'm pathetic.

          jace and i walked through the streets, he told me that we were going to a party with some friends. even if i wasn't in the mood for any socializing.

           "would you at least smile?" jace looked at me.

           i rolled my eyes and sighed, "i already came, so just be thankful for that alright?"

           jace only laughed, "alright grumpy."

           it bothered me how people got over allison's death so easily, like it never even happened. everyone was already having some real fun, and i was still busy dwelling in my own sadness.

            "come on." jace pulled me inside a house full of teenagers dancing and drinking.

           i saw a lot of familiar faces, friends of ours. they were all busy dancing and grinding on each other.

          "hey nathan, jace" cole welcomed us as he handed me a red cup that was filled with beer, "enjoy the party."

          i only nodded and jace dragged me further inside. i saw emma, my ex-girlfriend before allison, she looked at me before walking towards us.

         "hey guys nice to see you came," she said, jace and i only managed a small smile, "your looking good." she remarked, eyeing me.

              "yeah, uhm thanks." i said awkwardly.

             "i'll take him from here." she told jace then grabbed my arm.

             she lead me to one of the seats that was sprawled around the house. she smiled at me and i returned it, only it wasn't genuine.

             "so uh, nathan," she said breaking off the silence, "i'm sorry."

             "for what?"

            "you know, allison and what happened. i'm just sorry." she apologized, "but you know things happened and we never expect it."

             "it's okay." i told her.

             she placed her hand on top of mine, and suddenly i felt uncomfortable, "maybe we could still work you know?"

          i felt disgusted my her words. i quickly shifted away from her, "i need to go." then i quickly escaped from the whole party.

          the sun had already begun setting as i walked home. i wasn't in the mood for any kind of bullshit at the moment, especially not from emma.

            i knew it was a bad idea coming along. and i planned to just stay away from everyone, just for now until i get better.

        as i was passing through some houses, one particular house caught my attention. i slowly walked towards it, and without any thought i knocked.

            it was allison's house.