Nobody knows what I go through
Wish you could put yourself inside my shoes
You got friends that ain't friends no more
They don't understand the life I chose
See the money and the fame
It can hurt everything you love
Got some people that depend on me
And I can't give up
They don't know what I'm going through
Nobody Knows
August Alsina
{Joy}
I wake up in the middle of the night sweating and King side of the bed is empty. I look up at the ceiling. Which makes me have a flashback to when I was staying in the apartment with my parents. The only reason I got to get out of that apartment was because of Troy. It straight wild. I wouldn't know where I would be without him. It hurts so much. It's like a piece of me is missing. I see out of the corner of my eye my phone light up. I grab it and I see it's a text message from Willow.
Willow- Hey... you up?
Joy- Yeah.... I'm about to come over.
Willow: ok.
I grab my stuff and head for the door.
*
Once I get to Willow's place she opens the door with her eyes puffy and with a thick red rope on.
"Come here," I say and she falls in my arms and hugs me. We stand there for about 2 minutes and I walk her to the couch.
"Hey..... hey" I wipe her hair out of her face and her tears.
"You have to calm down. We don't want your blood pressure to rise" I tell her and she nods her head.
"It's so hard," She tells me dragging out the hard. "I don't know how I can do this" She puts her head in her hands and I rub her back.
"I know," I tell her.
"He was so happy" she starts crying again. "I can't .... I can't" She starts getting loud. "My heart hurts so much.... It hurts" I bend down and pick her body up and she cries in my arms.
"It's going to hurt I know... I'm going to be here ok" I tell her and she just cries and I start crying too.
The next day
I wake up on the chair and I look over and see Willow sleep on the couch. I hear my phone vibrating and I look up and see it's King.
"Where you at," He asked me.
"With Willow," I tell him.
"Oh, ight... just checking up," He tells me.
"Love you," I tell him.
"Love you too," He says and the line clicks.
I got up and went out to my car and got some clothes and took a shower. Once I got out I see Willow sitting up looking at the tv but nothing was on.
"How you feeling," I ask her and she turns her head but I couldn't see her face.
"I'm. I'm ok" she tells me and I walk around to her face and I could tell she woke up crying. "I had a dream he was here," She said and started crying.
"Hey hey... it ok" I sit next to her. "I got up to the hospital to go visit Kyson. Do you want to come" I ask her.
"No.... Carmon is on her way over here" She tells me. I nod my head and I walk out to my car. As I walk to my car Carmon pulls up.
"What happen" She runs up to me with her eyes red and her uniform still on.
"A lot..." I tell her.
"I just got off they wouldn't let me leave for anything," She tells me and I nod my head.
"I'm about to go see Kyson and I'll be back" I hug her and she nodded her head.
*
As I walk into the room I see my mom and Helen sitting in the chair in kyson some room.
"Hey guys," I say to them and they say hey.
"Where have you been," My mom asks me, "why haven't you been up here with him," She says, damn can I sit down first. I sit in the chair across from them and I take a deep breath.
"I'm here now," I tell her not in the mood to talk.
"It doesn't matter if you are here now, you need to always be with you child exactly when he is like this," she tells me, I get what she is saying but isn't this a little hypocritical of her but alright.
"Troy got killed yesterday... that's why I wasn't here... Kyson is coming home in one more day. When he gets home he is going to be by me at all times." I tell her and she doesn't say anything.
"I'm sorry Joy," She tells me and we just sit looking at Kyson.
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