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bright night, moon on the sky and stars twinkling on its mighty dark build, the light that entered the dim hospital room accentuated the woman's feature as it thickly shine on jiho's face.
i'm so sorry, jiho.
"i am going to be jiho's arthur-"
heart constricting in pain and tears prickling in the corner of my eyes, the words haunt me like a spear as it continuously stabbed the core of my heart.
i remembered the way his eyes looked through me, mocking and ripping me in half as he saw right through my insides, defining how worthless, disgusting and guilty i am for hurting the woman in front of me laying on the white bed, dressed in a hospital gown.
"-because her romeo was a good for nothing man"
a good for nothing man. am i? am i really that man? but, who could blame me? i was left as the back burner. the early years in our marriage was nothing but bliss and happiness, everything was so dreamy and i could assure that, that was the best days of my life. but, as jinyeon came in our life, i got busy and so did jiho - i wasn't given the attention that i needed to have.
i am a man and in some ways, i have my needs. truth be told, and shamefully speaking - the fact that jiho was forgetting to tend to the body heat i wanted to have, is what urged me to bed lilia. i remembered the first time i saw her, lilia was a strikingly gorgeous woman, the moment she step foot on my office, i knew that she was a big trouble. she didn't hide her interest at me even if she knew that i was already married, i tried so hard to stop the temptation but, after being so fed up with the lack of attention that i needed, it took only a few bottle of soju and a one steamy hot night to make me bend and commit adultery.
"you're a monster"i am, i am a monster. a sigh escaping my lips, i couldn't help but cup my fave as more tears fell, everything just hurts and i don't know what to feel anymore.
a monster, i'm a monster who's so selfish that tore his family apart. what am i? what, what had become of me?
