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a raging lion, out of nowhere a rage taking the form of park jimin had tackled me on the ground as he gave a series of unforgiving and relentless punches, surprising both me and lilia.
"how dare you! how fucking dare you do this to my sister!" every word dripped with venom, his fists were like two canons blowing hard and hurting socks. eyes tight shut as i desperately covered my face to shield the unstoppable rain of punches, i could only let myself be beaten into a pulp. i kept my brown orbs closed as the muscle memory of having a momentary glimpse of jimin's face, all i could ever see were hatred and anger.
"you disgusting-man-whore!" a scream leaked with bitterness, the words that escaped in park's mouth were full of hatred and i couldn't help but squirm. i could feel goosebumps erupted on my skin as i knew, in this situation – i was the prey and he was the predator. this is the end, i'm really fucked up. of all people . . . of all people to see—
"guards! guards!" lilia's voice managed to enter my train of thoughts despite the growls and grunts escaping on the man hovering on top of me. lilia, huh?
i—i kissed lilia once again.
"what did my sister do to deserve this kind of treatment from you?!" park was screeching as i asked the same thing to myself. yeah, what did jiho do to deserve this from me? why do i keep fucking things up? thousands of queries rummaging my stream of thoughts, i couldn't help but question myself as i seek for answers.
what did jiho do to be hurt? nothing. jiho did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment from me. jiho's a devoting wife – she showered me all her love, her adoration and her time. she was all i could ever ask for but . . . all, all i ever did was to hurt her heart more than what jin had did.
why did i even cheated? because i was selfish. i was a selfish bastard who only thought of what would pleasure me. i threw the precious relationship and beautiful family i had with just the call of my carnal desires. just to feed my lubidunous state, i shattered the long years of love we had built.
do i even love jiho still? god, yes! yes, i love her. i love jiho with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my being! i love her so much that i can't imagine living without her, i love her so much that i've never felt so guilty. i was selfish and i was a fool! i want to skin myself alive, i feel so damn bad cause i initially had a resolve. i already had a resolve to break things with lilia and all it takes for me to bend was a simple kiss! what the fuck is wrong with you jeon jeongguk?! what the fucking hell?! you love jiho, right? you love her so much but what happened?! i don't want to lose her, i don't want to lose my family!
