Emotionless

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"Emotionless" surrounds me as I stand in front of my grandfather's casket not shedding one tear. I don't understand how they can feel sad for a person that was hardly in their life. They are all shedding tears like Niagara Falls. Maybe they weren't crying for the loss, maybe they were crying for his money. You see, my grandfather was a very wealthy man that could spot a gold digger from a mile. However, never saw that trait in his family. But now he is gone without a word of knowing what his family actually felt.
"Emotionless" fills the cold air as everyone is mourning the sad loss of our towns creator of the "Jelly Belly Buster" or the JBB and I'm just quietly sitting on the outside not one hitch in my road. The JBB was a bright green milk shake with blended green apple sour jelly beans and a green sour sauce whipped cream. Honestly, it tasted like diabetes in a cup. I don't understand why everyone liked it so much. They all gather around "Big Ol' Billy's" ,which was his restaurant, wearing green shirts carrying an assortment of green things. Someone made a greenheart and setting it carefully on the bench that was were he once ate his lunch. But now he is gone with his only thing that he loved , the JBB.
"Emotionless" is what I am scolded by my mother when my facial expression doesn't change a bit when I'm opening my Christmas gifts. I understand that I should show something. But it feels as if I can't, like a leash holding a dog back from running. No matter how hard I try I can never get away.
"Emotionless" is what doesn't define me. I have emotions I just choose not to show. Over and over I get told, "Show some emotion for once." However whenever you show a sign of weakness or change, they don't like it.But one day I pray to god that there will come a person that will make me show. I'll be able to show everything like I'm a book and they are just reading my thoughts and feelings. Everything that I've kept inside of me for years on top of years. Finally free like a bird. Open like a bird's sore.

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