memories

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My mom pushed me to go out. She said it would be better if I'd have myself busy with other things, and see other people. So I tried.

I started with the newly opened coffee shop few blocks away. I ordered a frappe and sat on one corner, alone. You'd normally sit across me. You said you love seeing my reactions when we talk. I found it funny. How ironic that it made me cry at the moment.

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I had to go out of that shop before I could make a scene, crying by myself. I walked to a near gasoline station. I headed to the restroom and fixed how I look after that meltdown. It took me about 15minutes doing that. I remembered how you always complain waiting for me outside whenever I needed to pee or retouch my make up. It would normally annoy me. But I'd rather hear your complains now than seeing no one outside, waiting. I had to locked myself in a cubicle and look in the mirror again before I could actually go out.

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I tried going to the mall after. Maybe it would be better to see other people moving around. Wrong move. I saw a lot of couples from wherever I look. I remembered how we used to be just like them and it just made me feel worse.

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