My Teenage Tragedy

Jealousy?

   **Jace's P.O.V. **

God River's singing was so damn good. I loved it. To me it literal sounded like an angel singing. He had such a cute voice and the way he was acting nervous was cute as hell. ‘What the fuck are you doing? You’re not a fag.your straight and have a girlfriend so pull yourself together...You just need some help.’ The voice in my head said, it was more like part of myself was telling me to snap out of it, that it was just a phase...I wasn't gay. That’s what I thought about the whole class period until the bell rang.

After the bell had ringed I walked over to River quickly, hoping he didn’t notice how eager I wanted to talk to him I tapped him on the shoulder lightly. He turned around fast with a big smile on his face but it quickly faded when we made eye contact. My heart sank but I managed to keep a smile on my face. "Hey, River isn't it? I'm Jace; it’s nice to meet you." I smiled that charming smile that was so fake it made me sick about how fake my smiles were getting lately.

After that I really didn’t remember most of our conversation because I was so deep in thought about stuff. All I know is that River had turned me down when I asked him to sit with me at lunch. I walked River to lunch and we talked for about 15 minutes .I got to know a lot about River in those 15 minutes’ waved goodbye to River then walked into the Cafeteria.

I was quickly pulled to the side by Jennifer. She kissed me quickly then backed away looking at me mad .She tried to pull of that cute pouty thing but it didn't work. I wanted to laugh so badly but managed to keep it in. "So I heard you were eying another girl. What is here name? What does she look like? Is she prettier than me?" I sighed under my breath and looked away as Jennifer asked 20 questions. After what seemed like 4 years she pushed my shoulder lightly glaring at me "Well?"

I looked back at her and half smiled "Babe whoever told you I was looking at another girl is lying. You’re the only one for me." I said a bit irritated then pulled Jennifer close to me kissing her deeply. She seemed happy I did this because she wrapped her arms around my neck kissing me back. She was really into it and so was I but something inside me was telling me this was wrong. Pushing those thoughts aside I continued to make out with Jennifer. After a good 5 minutes of making out with her I pulled away slowly.

"So...Uh...I don’t know about you but I’m hungry so let’s go.” I turned around and started walking to the table that Kai's sitting at. I looked back and saw that Jennifer had sat down at the table where all the cheerleaders were at. No surprise there scanned the cafeteria quickly for River before I sat down. I spotted him and almost choked on my spit from what I saw. Josh was holding MY River in his arms!? and to make my blood boil even more River didn't pull away he just stood there not reacting debated whether or not I should go over there and tear them apart but I ignored it and sat down at the table.

Of course it was boring because everyone at the table was having the same old conversations. The conversations consisted of girls, sports, parties, and of course our upcoming football game. Every now and then I would look over at River to see if we were okay. I wanted so bad to go over there and talk to him but I knew if I did he would be all shy and plus all my friends would think I’m crazy if I went over there and talked to those people .I mean I don’t have anything against them I think they are the same just like us, the only thing that was different about them was their taste in stuff.

The bell rang and everyone ran out in a stampede to get to class. Since Kai and I have Science next period together he and I walked together to class. I couldn’t get River off my mind as i sat down in my chair next to Kai. I looked down and stared blankly at my notebook thinking. 'You’re not gay...' 'This is just a phase...’  'You're not a faggot...’ It was like a war going on in my head with all these thoughts clouding my mind. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell someone but I was scared to how they would react. I looked over to Kai and shook my head couldn't tell him, he would probably freak out. I sighed under my breath and looked up slowly. Call it coincidence or fate but when I looked up i locked eyes with River. I didn't know what to do so without thinking I smiled big staring at him.