My love, Anne,
I miss you so much.
You were a friend, a lover, a wife and a soul mate to me. We got married, you and I, we fell in love and we gave each other's lives meaning. Being with you was the biggest choice I've ever made in my entire life, and I want you to know that I have no regrets. I loved you and you loved me. We fell in love with each other sincerely and truthfully. We laughed, we cried and we took on so much together. We remained strong. These reasons would explain why we never gave up on each other, why you never failed to make me fall in love over and over again. Every single day that I caught a glimpse of your beautiful face gave me the reason to live. Whenever our eyes locked together, you took my breath away and that's the very reason I know in my heart that I love you.
Do you remember when we were little? We used to run around the old mulberry tree that towered over your backyard until we would get tired. There was a time when you tripped and cried your fragile little heart out. I did not know what to do. I just held your hand and told you everything would be all right. Your curly blond hair was stained with dirt and your knee got scratched from the ground. Blood was crawling down your skin, and I was terrified. Your mother came and she fixed everything. She asked me why I didn't call her, what did I know? I was still a child. I was scared. I was terrified of what might happen to you, until now I still dread that moment that I became weak, a coward when you needed me.
We came across bumps and bruises in our relationship, like that time you saw me kiss another girl. I don't know if you've forgiven me but I haven't. It was never my choice to kiss Alice Gregory from Junior high. I was perusing the cafeteria when she took me by the hand and pulled me towards her, she kissed me just as you were coming our way. You both had a disliking for one another, and I didn't know if she did it on purpose, but I watched your eyes widen in horror when you saw us. You ran away with tears slithering down your soft and delicate cheeks. I pushed her away from me and ran after you. I sat in front of the girl's bathroom, by the door, trying to talk to you and explain until you came out and talked to me. I didn't know what to say, I pleaded and begged for you to understand. But your eyes were hollower than anyone's that day. You were hurt. I took your hand and kissed you, kissed you to wipe away all the sorrow, to make you understand. It has always been you. You knew that, and it's still you until now. I never gave up on us and I never will. I love you and that can never change.
There was also our senior prom. You looked beautiful, as always. I remember watching you walk down your house's stairs, lifting your dress up with one hand, and clutching the stair railings with another, taking small careful steps, afraid you'll fall. I knew how much you hated wearing heeled shoes and how much you disliked wearing makeup, in fact that night, I still saw the girl with the glasses, the girl who would prefer being alone in her room, listening to songs on a Friday night, the girl who read books and treated them as her best friend and the girl who didn't care about what others thought of her. The girl who was real. I still saw the girl I fell in love with under the cosmetics and the dress. Your beauty was much deeper than that.
We danced together as they played our song, 'Close to You' by The Carpenters. I didn't dance very well but you guided me and my feet magically synced with yours. Afterwards, we snuck out and sat together at the school garden's wooden bench that was surrounded by trees. You closed your eyes and told me you were 'feeling the nature'. I kissed you and told you how much I loved you, how much I love how you are as a person, how I never wanted that day to end and how I never want to lose you. We sat there and watched the moon and stars as the night grew old. I would never forget that night.
