a million reasons

death

i'm going to have to explain death to you first.. the why behind it will come later.

death is weird by itself; the separation of a soul from a body. the thought of someone taking a final breath and then fading away. that's not what your thinking about when you scarf down pills though, or cut your wrists, or anything you do to leave the living.

all you think about is leaving, not what's going to happen after you leave.

not that you'll never be able to go to graduation, have kids, grow old, laugh, live.

i wasn't thinking of all of that when i killed myself.

I just swallowed the pills and lay down. it was a good sleep, a sleep deeper than "a sleep like death",it was a sleep that drifted into death.

    i didn't expect to wake up.. but i did. the place i'm at now is bright. it's warm and comfortable.

   when i got here i could see the people who were still living. i felt like they needed something to inform them of death; more specifically my death.

   that's where my book came into my life, well.. my death.