a million reasons

note

i ran back to the woods after school on the day that my supposed friends had mocked my hypothetical death.

with every situation i had i ran to those woods; my one and only safe place.

she wasn't there, the girl i called friend. only a note. it was one brilliant white paper with a wax seal on it.

   she was always mocking fancy people, which made the note even more peculiar.

  i carefully tore off the wax seal, and opened the note.

the first sentence caught me off guard: "you won't see me in these woods any longer"

i continued down the note:

" we both have been struggling with tough things throughout our lives, and i am happy i got to work through them with you; who i can gladly call friend"

my heart fell and i suddenly felt nauseous, i came to a realization to what this note must be.

despite what my mind kept telling me, i read on, i needed to know.

" i was happy every second i spent with you, you were strong. stronger than i could have ever been. our relationship didn't only benefit me though, i saw the sadness fade from your face when we were together"

this paragraph started the tears, and from this point on in the letter, i remembered the happiness she gave me.

" all of our accumulated happiness was far from enough though, because the world was out to get me. and when the world is out to get you, it will succeed. it pains me to write this into words, but we will never see one another again, because i've decided that i need the pain to stop forever"
 
  even thinking back on the point i read this, i am brought to tears. the girl in the woods was my greatest friend. even though i haven't said it until now, i had loved her. the note ended like this:

  "i know you will live a long life, because your stronger than me, fight the pain, and live; for me"

from that point on i fell deeper into the very pain that she had told me to fight.. and my journey into death had begun.