Dear Saphira

Chapter 1

Niall sat down at his desk, looking at the blank notebook in front of him. He sighed slightly as he picked up the pen beside him, biting his bottom lip as he started.

'Dear Saphira,

How are you? Okay. Stupid question. How should I do this? I mean, it's the first letter I'm writing to you. I don't want it to sound daft. Damn, this sounds like when I was trying to ask you out the first time. Not well. Haha. Remember, I was the biggest idiot on the planet that day. But you still for some reason said yes. Made me the happiest bloke ever to.

It's not going well. I've literally stopped going to the bands meetings and I think I'm about to be kicked out of the band. I know you'd be telling me to shut up by this point, assuring me everything would be alright. By now you'd be telling me that they needed their 'Irish Good Luck Charm'. Sometimes I worried about your brain. Now I guess I don't have to...

Don't get me wrong! I loved being able to worry about you and you couldn't say a thing about it. I loved how even though you loved your blonde hair, you just had to dye it black with green and pink in it. I loved how you got those lip piercings and a nose stud ring, right after you got all those Harry Potter tattoos and that one Doctor Who quote. You made me hold your hand. Thanks to you I finally got a tattoo. We both had to get matching shamrocks on our wrists. It doesn't look or feel the same now that there's only one.

Saph, what do I do now? You're gone and well the boys look at me as if I'm next. I'm not next, am I? I mean, I love you and want to be with you, but I just don't want to hurt people. Love, I'm so confused and frightened. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know you. You were brave, strong, an Irish girl through and through even though you were only half Irish.

Me? I'm not that brave. I'm not that strong. And I'm sure as hell full Irish, but still I can't do what you had to go through. It wasn't fair! It wasn't right! I miss you and well, I need you back. I wish you could come back. But I know deep down that you can't and that I'll never see you again. I won't see you again. I hate that. I want to see you one more time. Hold you tight in my arms and never let you go.

Love

Niall Forever and Always Saphy'

Niall sighed as he took the letter and placed it in an envelope, closing his eyes for a second to try and calm down. Almost as soon as he opened his eyes, four boys ran inside and hugged him tightly. That was all it took for him to break down into tears. He could no longer be the carefree Irish lad he had always been. Now, he could tell, he would be even more sensitive, hiding behind Liam or Zayn. Hiding from Louis when he got wild. And shying away from Harry when he tried to steal his food. He couldn't be who he had always been without her. Without Saphira he could no longer be Niall. Without his Juliet he could no longer be Romeo. Without his Princess he was a peasant, looking for nothing more than what he had.

He would never be able to truly be free.