Every morning I wake up, another day full of hatred.
I get to school, but on my way there, I get called names.
"Fake emo"
"Fat idiot"
"Emo wannabe"
"KISS"
I never liked this place, but I have to be here.
I go straight to my locker and put my jacket in there,
Then people give me dirty looks.
I take out my notebook and head to class...
Everyday, everyone looks at me like I killed someone.
It frightens me, there I sit on my seat hoping someone would,
Say "hello" or "good morning" but it never happened.
I write 'dear diary' in my notebook everyday,
About my feelings... It's torture.
When the teachers don't like how I dress they call my mom,
The drawings in my notebook, they force me to show them.
My song writing, my 'dear diaries' ... They call my mom.
The school is bullying me, it's a living hell.
This is another reason why my mom hates me.
They're trying to change me, my mom gets call from the school. Every single day..
I'm sick of it, I always ask to be homeschool or move to a different town,
But they make me stay.. At school, at home, wherever I go,
I get bullied and hurt.
I'm always late for class during lunch, I can't tell them why.
They're gonna make him leave, my only chance of happiness per day.
But he does anything just to make me smile,
The schools staff thinks I'm evil...
Just because I'm half devil worshipper, they should mind their own business.
My life's already bad enough,don't force me to wear, rosaries, a cross necklace or anything holy.
I'll end up breaking it anyways...
One time I was sitting in class writing in my notebook,
They said I wasn't listening so..
They took away my earphones and iPad mini for the rest of the day.
I was dying to hear my music, the lyrics help me from cutting in classes.
They tell me to listen when I am, I just want to be alone.
I regret taking my notebook with me that day,
The teachers wanted to see it so they were fighting for it.
I kept the book in my hands, I didn't want them to see,
They would just call my mom after that.
One of the teachers tried taking it out of my hands but I refused,
That teacher thought it was funny, he thought it like some game..
Tug of war, but with my book. It hurted so much.
Then it happened they were strong enough to take it away.
They flipped the pages and gasped.
They told me I wasn't allowed to write that kind of language.
But I swear when I'm mad,
They took the book & said you're not getting this back till the end of the day.
It hurted so much that I cried, in front of my classmates, in front of the teachers. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't help it.
I've been strong for too long, the tears just fell like a river,
I don't care what they have to say to me.
They will just hurt me some more.
The guidance councillor tried talking to me,
But she just made things worse,
Then my teacher talked to me,
I was just mad at her but didn't lose my temper,
And now the principal wants to talk to me next week.
I'm scared, everything is falling apart again.
They still have my book.
Every time I start a new book, they have to take it away..
They know some of my inner secrets,
I always draw upside down crosses... Is this why they're bothering me?
They force me to wear a holy necklace everyday but I broke it.
They know that, I've been to hell and heaven.
I know what it's like, I've seen the devil.
And the in between that's just a paradise where you have a chance of going to heaven, there's still fire there but it doesn't burn you.
It burns your sins.. But all I want is to see my grandparents.
I don't care where I go, I see the dead but don't bother me..
They're always trying to take me to church, I hate it there.
When schools over I always have to sit alone on the bus, I can't walk home..
Because it's too far, I live far from my school..
School's a living hell..
~ Kasiex.
