Grey Happiness

Welcome says the chair again,

Sitting and cuddling in the rain,

Near the window,resting in pain,

All smiles, all efforts, all money in vain.

The chair in the grey corner of my room,

Fills my heart with memories in blue.

Whenever she calls me I am remorsing ,

No where else I have to go cause I am depleting.

Sobbing and pushing inside it for warmth,

Barely, my feet, touching the shadow's swarm.

I take a sob, and another one,

The chair grips me as if she had me won.

It lured me in when my tears fell on it,

I could not resist and hurts like a sin.

My heart bursts out, squeezes me in,

I comfort into my doom with sip of gin

The grey in me , the grey of chair,

Is a solace for me from the toe to every single hair.

The way it comforts me turns the grey to black,

I grow in darkness and look back.

I tried to breath but sobbed again,

I tried to smile but dropped again.

I etiolated not in the lack of light,

But in the way I took myself so light.

I underestimated myself, thought it apt,

Yes I was the best but now not even apt.

With every sob I lured in,

I tried to scream, never let me grin.

I try, my face tells it when I scream

But the voices......

may be die near the brim.

I will not kill but I am a loser,

I got everything but die soon and sooner.

The grey in me grows with every drop

I am used to failures , now the fear always crops.

I try my best and ashame the zest,

So I will let the grey grow all the time I have left.

The chair drew me into darkness

nurtured me and my old grey happiness!

! ............................................................................!