You Can't Spell Believe Without Lie

Chapter Nine

Heather had woken up Sunday at nine, when her mother came up to her room and told her goodbye, for she was leaving for work. Heather was relieved that she was buried so far under the covers, because she was still naked from only a few hours earlier. 

Ryan was gone, now, and a note was placed on her nightstand, reading: I didn't want to wake you, but I had to leave before your mother noticed I was here. I'll see you Monday. I love you. -R

And that was all. 

Heather rolled over and tried to sleep some more, but couldn't. She'd barely even slept a few hours, but every time she closed her eyes, memories from her night with Ryan flooded into her head, and an overwhelming sense of guilt hit her. She felt dirty, and even worse, she felt like she'd used Ryan. She knew how he felt about her, and she used him to make herself feel better. She was so tired of being sad about her best friend still being missing, and she just wanted to forget. The most horrible part of all? She felt herself slowly falling for him, and that was not a good thing. 

Heather went to school on Monday, determined to not say a thing to Ryan about what happened. She wasn't sure how he'd react, but she couldn't get more attached than she already was. It was hard enough thinking about him all the time. She imagined the way he smiled when she touches his cheek, or the way he runs his fingers through her hair... 

Stop, Heather thought to herself, chewing her lip, which was, for some reason, sore. She remembered that she'd bitten down on her lip so hard that night that it bled, and frowned. 

When Heather stepped into history, she almost turned around. Ryan was there, early, for the first time that entire school year. Why? Well, there could only be one reason. 

"Hey," Ryan said to Heather as she sat down. He wore a giant smile that actually made Heather's heart beat a little faster, but she wasn't sure if she was just happy to see him, or if her heart was pounding from all the guilt. 

"Hi," Heather said in return, and she could have slapped herself. It sounded like a question, instead of a greeting. Ryan frowned. 

"Okay, class," Mr. Alexander said, getting to the front of the classroom. "I'm passing out the review for next week's test. You can work on it with friends, but keep your voices low." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Get working. Nobody distract me, I'm grading papers, or something..."

"Should I even ask if you want to work with me?" Ryan asked, noticing how she was pretending he wasn't there. "I won't push you, in case you regret it."

"Stop, Ryan," Heather said under her breath. "I'll work with you," she said, quite reluctantly. 

Ryan reached out and grabbed a hold of her desk, pulling it towards him. Her heartbeat accelerated, and she hated to admit that it was because she was so close to him. Their shoulders were only a few inches apart. 

"Are you mad at me about something?" Ryan asked after a few few minutes of absolute silence. 

"I'm not mad," Heather said quietly, tracing the lines on her wooden desk. She kept her eyes down, trying to ignore his staring. 

"Then why are you acting like I have a disease?" He sounded so hurt that Heather glanced at him, and she didn't like the pained expression on his face one bit. She looked away quickly. 

"I have a headache, that's all," she lied smoothly, opening her book. "Maybe we should work separately."

"Heather," he said shakily. "Do you like me, or were you lying to me?"

"I... I don't know. I need to think about some things..."

Ryan looked furious. "Maybe you should have thought about those things before you slept with me," he snapped, his voice low enough so that only she could hear him. Her face turned red with embarrassment. He was right, but she didn't want to admit that to him.