Shadow In The Dark (Marilyn Manson)

Behind her smile

It was late. Midnight to be exact. I was supposed to meet someone. They'd promised? Well their manager promised me. But the workers can't be to predictable. My new life, with my new job laid at the tip of my toes. Sitting on the edge. Would I even dare try, again? Strange enough, that starting over is even a choice. That word almost seems so foreign. All the choices that have been made. Were just made. Nothing can take them back. Not even a simple chaotic breath out of a monster. Just to scare a terrified child away. Not even a time machine could save this. Even if god tried. Not even, anything. It's done, right? It has to be. It's forced to be.

A cover to a dead magazine that has been rusted to a pulp. Practically my life right there. Some pathetic joke, people would wonder, why did it even exist? They'd wonder if the person telling the story was some type of a joke. But it's not a joke. It's my fucked up life. Not even a miracle could grasp.

The wanting in my heart filled. If I even had one of those? I felt stone cold. Would it work it's way out? I don't even think it would. Not even on a perfect day. Somehow it might just clash over and become a faded out, ragged, death doll. Just for my boring brain to feed on. After all things, would, and never will change. Society is something people have to crank their pin heads on. Think differently. Or your dead just like everybody else. More like another piece of the pile. Another piece of a puzzle, that no type of normal person would like to solve. 

My stomach, having the ability to shrink up enough to see my ribs. Well, that wasn't a choice. That was a fact. Lately food has been becoming useless. Well, even if I liked it, I couldn't. Knowing that I won't be eating. Not tonight. I didn't even care if I ate anything this morning. Felt fine, and it'd be hard to find something anyways.

A loud noise came screeching to a halt. Jolting forward once more before making it's decision to actually open the doors. Tonight it's pretty vacant. Sometimes you'll see a soul. A simple stranger passing by, breathing in the same copied air that most will be forced to breathe. Tiled dirty floor cluttered with loose rubble, plastered under my boots. Even the ceiling looked like it wanted to burst. One day, I just know it will. 

The slide doors opened, I stepped into the third car. Apparently my first job is the fifth. I'v done this type of work, many times before. Just not with these associates. I'v worked with the best in town, then I had to move. Couldn't afford the place where I used to live. My old job doesn't compare, as much as this one does with the pay. Moving, it's like a new start. But it always depends how you use your 'new start', complications. Well anywhere someone will go. There will always be complications, but with me. It's a constant fight. I'm used to it I guess.

As I walked threw the doors, very slowly. Not wanting to be there to early. I began to wonder, if this could actually work. I should be prepared. I'm not dressed the part but prepared. Mentally I can bare threw it. Physically can glide by fast and simple. See how everything places it's pick. And most of all hope! Or just be grateful I survived another day. Maybe they'll have a phone that I could borrow?

I saw a beer belly, drunk sit. His weak hair curled at the bottom, and I could smell him from here. The chair he sat on, his most likely rabies skunked butt, looked as if it was for surely concurred. It's over it's capacity, most likely. But it still trenched on. 

The man let out a belch before speaking, "You?" That was all he said. I nodded, still hesitant at the sight of him. I wasn't ready mentally to hear his voice. Heck, I'm not ready for most things in this world. I'm to young. 

His dazed look, lead his eyebrows drooping in his sight. Surprised he can see me. The mans brown jacket held around him tightly, the cheep fabric looked like the chair did. Wanting to rip. His pants were loose and dully shaded blue. Then, his shoes covered with mud. His finger nails, had dirt shoved in the beds. I noticed his slight movement towards me. Which nearly startled me. Managed not to jump to much.