A Penny for My Thoughts

IV.XX.MMXIV

IV.XX.MMXIV

In The Fault in Our Stars, Augustus Waters fears oblivion. He fears the void that, on the most miserable of us, nips at our heels and holds us in the grey area between endless darkness and constant light.

I fear, as Augustus does, oblivion. Yet, I welcome the emptiness and the ending, which would contradict the definition of his fear. But it's not that easy, is it? Fears, like life, are not simply black and white. There are grey spots, and the longer we muddle through our existence, the more they appear.

I, as many of us do, allow my fears to dwell within this grey area. I fear oblivion, but specifically circumstantial oblivion; a place where the darkness that I so wholly welcome comes with a terms and conditions list longer than Apple's. Where I can finally let go, but at a cost.

Watching this grey area, from my perspective and daily interactions, only proves and enhances my fear. There are always causes to effects, and I fear becoming a cause by agreeing to the deal of getting my oblivion entrance ticket punched.

But then again, we all one day will accept the tiny little hole on our tickets that, supposedly, let us through the gates. That is one thing we can all promise each other. But this leads to the question I ask myself as I ponder these inevitably depressing yet freeing fears and thoughts; what are we all waiting for?

{C.G.D}