He's The Boss

12

I'm standing on the steps of a train station. The name doesn't matter. Nor does the time. Only this spot.

This is where Sam and I first met. He was photographing everyday moments in the city, and took a photo of me while I was coming down the steps. When he caught the look of surprise on my face, he apologized and said he'd delete the photo if I wanted him to.

'But I hope you'll say no, because you've been the best thing to come along all day,' he'd said.

And it was.

At the time, I had just started working at HowWeMet, and I was fresh out of college, eager, and so happy to have a cute guy paying attention to me. We did things the 'right' way, going on dates, talking things out and planning for our first time, confiding in each other about the future we wanted.

I look back now and think how hollow it all was. I stare at those ugly metal steps, remembering something he said once – something about me, being a breath of fresh air amidst all the noise, the dirt, the gray.

'You are you, unapologetically so. Your choices are your own.'

Dad never liked him. To be fair, Dad has never liked any of the guys either Haley or I dated, but he seemed to have a particularly strong reaction towards Sam, for some reason.

So when I mentioned the idea of Sam and me being married one day, and Dad flipped, I left and never looked back. I'm proud of how far I've come, but a part of me wishes I'd listened to Dad for once. We never had a good relationship, but I think he was only trying to protect me.

Just then, I hear a click behind me.

I turn around, and to my disbelief, there he is, camera in hand. His hair's different, his clothes are new, but it's him.

"Sam." I'm so surprised, I forget to be angry.

"Hey, you," he whispers, his voice carrying with the breeze.

"You're ... here."

"I come here from time to time. To remember."

"Where have you been?"

"In and out of the city."

"You have people looking for you."

"I know." He lowers his gaze, silent for a moment. "You must hate me."

"Sam."

"I know, I know. I was a coward for skipping out the way I did. I just ... I didn't know how to face you."

"What's going on? What did you get yourself into?"

"Nothing you need to know about," he murmurs, putting the camera away.

"People came to the apartment, looking for you."

His face drains when he hears that. "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing."

"OK. That's good."

"Sam ... you owe me."

"I know, I know. I promise, I'll repay you as soon as I – "

"I don't care about the money. I want an explanation."

He looks up at me, but there's no tenderness in his eyes, only something sad and worn. "You were safe. Normal. And I just wanted to feel that way, if only for a little while."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Caitlin. I tried. I really tried. But I can't be the man you want me to be. I can't give you that kind of relationship."