He's The Boss

19

Nate tries to talk to me that night, knocking on the guest room door and asking if I'm OK. I just pretend I'm asleep, waiting until he takes the hint and goes away.

I hate myself for shutting him out like this, but I'm just not ready to face him. Ever since what happened earlier, I've been stuck on this cycle of misery and self-hate. I don't know why my sister's words this afternoon made me so upset. Why wouldn't I want to take care of her? She's my little sister. I just want her to be safe.

But was that where I went wrong? Was I trying to get her to be like me? No doubt, she's always been quick to fall in love, unlike me. It's something I've never been able to understand. But I would always be there for her, no matter how many times she got hurt.

I close my eyes, but it seems like only seconds later that an insistent buzzing from my phone shocks me awake. I don't recognize the number, and pick up tentatively, afraid I'm going to hear Rocco's voice on the other end. I'll wait for whoever it is to speak, and if it's him, I'm hanging up and changing my number tomorrow.

"Hello? Miss Ross? Hello?" a woman's voice in a busy background speaks urgently.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Miss Ross? Miss Caitlin Ross?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but I'm afraid it's an emergency."

My heart starts firing in my chest. Oh my God. Haley was right. It's actually happening.

"Dad?" I whisper, sounding like a little girl in that moment.

"I'm sorry?"

"What happened to him?"

"Him? I don't know who you're thinking of, honey, but this is about your sister."

I spring up from the bed in the dark. "What?!" I yell loudly.

Words fall from the woman's mouth – she must be a nurse, I gather – but it seems like the details refuse to enter my brain. I keep asking her what she's saying and what she means, and she patiently tries to explain again and again.

Eventually, I catch enough to make sense of what happened, my stomach clenching tighter and tighter as reality dawns on me. "I'll be right there," I whisper, hanging up.

I race around the room, packing stuff into bags and putting on something decent. As I emerge, my gaze goes to the door to Nate's bedroom. I hesitate, feeling torn.

At first, I move right past his door, but a few steps later, something stops me. In the end, I double back, breathing in deeply before rapping on the door with my knuckles.

I hear rustling inside, then some slow, lazy footsteps on the floorboards, before the door creaks open. Nate stands there, wearing only loose drawstring pants, his hair a mess. "Cait?" he says sleepily, rubbing one eye.

"I need to go to the hospital."

"What??" That wakes him up right away. He reaches over, grasping my shoulder with urgency. "Why?? What's wrong? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," I murmur. "It's my sister."

"Haley ... ?"

"There was an ... an ... " Accident. I can't get the word out, my breaths turning ragged as awful pictures of what might have happened flash through my mind.

"Hey, it's OK, he says, grasping both my hands. His touch is warm and as reassuring as anything can be right now . "Don't worry, I'll drive you right now, OK?"

"OK," I answer quietly, nodding.

Nate and I don't say anything to each other in the car, but this silence is different from the one between us after the wedding. This feels calm. He knows I can't give anything right now, and he understands.