365 Days

Chapter 5 - Day 107

I still did not receive a letter from Nathan today, it has been a week since my second letter. I wonder if Janine really does drop my letters at his place, maybe she just decided to keep it. Either way it is making me so anxious, the waiting is so tiring - but the more valid question really is "am I really waiting for something to happen? or am I just waiting for an empty chance?" 

I couldn't help but be so restless - I haven't been able to work well these couple of days. Thankfully, my clients were very understanding as it is my first time to slack off work. When I look at the view finder of my camera, I couldn't help but see his face on the other side - could it be I have illusions of him? Have I really gone insane, these anti-depressive drugs are really not helping that much. 

I really should get my mind off things, I decided to go the book store that's just a few blocks from my place - and far from that of Nathan's. So, bumping into him would actually be impossible. 

The smell of the bookstore is indeed exhilarating, it's quite reminiscent of the library, but minus the too old smell of the pages. I wasn't really sure what book I should be buying at this time. I traced the edges of the books with my hand as I slowly walked past the book shelf. 

"You really should read this book." An unfamiliar voice said that got me startled.

"Oh!" I exclaimed

"Sorry, did I scare you?" he sweetly asked.

"Just a little, I thought I was alone there for a second."

"Not really, there's a few people here" he said pointing to the other people around "as you can see."

"Yeah, that's not exactly what I literally meant."

"I know, I was trying to start a conversation." He said and he handed me a book "You really should try reading this - it's a simple read and quite refreshing. I've re-read it a couple times already."

I took the book and looked at it, and looked at him. It's like I have seen him before - but I'm not really sure. My memory lately has been failing me, it must have been the sleepless nights I have been experiencing - and waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats and just screaming. 

"Thank you." I said, and quickly walked away from him. I could feel him still staring at me though I am a few feet away from him. He's not really that creepy, it's just that I wasn't really ready to be flirted with. He was flirting... Was he flirting? Or is it all in my mind? He did flirt right? Or was he just being nice?