Do you remember the first time we met? You were with your friends sitting at the cafeteria, I was walking to the cafeteria looking for my friends too. Then all of a sudden you walked up to me and said "Are you lost?"
(FLASHBACK)
"What?" I asked with a bewildered expression on my face - who is this boy asking me if I was lost, do I look lost? He then came closer to me, his face right in front of mine and swayed towards my right ear.
"Please, just ride with my joke - I don't want to be embarrassed in front of my teasing friends" he whispered.
"You expect me to believe your non sense?" I whispered back. His face is not in front of mine once again, his eyes fixed on to mine as if it was begging - his eyes were begging. I couldn't help but notice he had a frown on his lips - a begging eyes, a frowning lips, what was I supposed to do?
"Hmmm. Okay, what do you want me to do?" I asked
"Just laugh as if I told you something funny, then I'll be on my way." He said. So I laughed the most fake laugh I have ever done in my entire life. I did not even convince myself, what more them...
"Sophie! We're here." Janine exclaimed as she waved her arms side to side that was reminiscent of a bamboo being swayed by a very strong wind.
I walked towards my friends, and stole a gaze towards him - he seemed very content with our acting, and his friends seemed convinced. At least I helped someone today, I think.
(Back to the letter)
At that time those words did not have any meaning, but if you ask me again the same question my answer would be. YES, I am lost. Since the day you broke me, I was lost.
I feel so empty, as if a part of me was missing. Every inch of my body was longing for you.
I am lost without you. It's like I am no longer me, I no longer have an identity that I can call my own without it coiled into it.
How did it come to be, that we were intertwined for so many years, and then you suddenly leaving me. It's like half of my soul is gone, lost.
Lost as I can ever be. Each day I try to forget about you, I try to fight with my emotions and yet it seems like the hardest thing to do.
I'm fighting for my life. I'm fighting with my thoughts, I'm fighting with you in my head.
It's my fault I let you be my world - but you enjoyed every bit of it, being my world.
I should have kept my own, refrained from making you my world - that would be why you must have felt so tied up to me, and felt so suffocated. You need not say, but I know it must have happened that way. I saw the signs, I saw the clues, but I just did not really mind it. I should have seen this coming, but I was too blind, i deliberately blinded myself - because I was happy with us, I was happy with you.
Did you ever feel happy with me too?
Sophie
YOU ARE READING
365 Days
RomanceSophie recently just had her heart broken. Her high school sweet heart for 9 years has just broken up with her. With no other way to cope, she decided to send him letters through out the course of a year. The question is did Nathan receive her lette...
