Skye's Book of Randomness

Ways to Annoy People

Ways to annoy people

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 ways to annoy people at school:

1. Write a letter to the person sitting next to you about why it is a good idea to breathe more quietly

2. During a test, drum your hands/pencil on a table or chair

3. Say 'I like ponies' when the room is at a silence

4. If your school doesn't allow chewing gum, dramatically pretend to chew gum and when a teacher asks you to open your mouth, start listing reasons why you shouldn't. When you eventually open your mouth, show that there is no gum.

5. Write a love letter to the teacher, making sure that the handwriting doesn't match yours

6. Order 10 expensive pizzas to your school under the name of your teacher/someone you hate

7. Switch the gender signs on the toilets

8. Put a rotten apple on your least favorite teacher's desk before class

9. During a test, start whistling the tune to 'Skip to my Lou'

10. Start singing 'Raise Your Glass' by Pink loudly during an in-school task.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 ways to annoy people on the phone

1. Ask your conversation partner if their refrigerator is running, and when they say 'Is this a prank?' say 'No, I was just making sure your fridge was on. Call it a friendly gesture'

2. Call people and hang up instantly, or just leave 10 messages of you breathing

3. Call up Dominos and ask them if they sell burgers, and when they say 'No' start whining about how the call wasted 30 seconds of your life that you'll never get back, and then ask them how much burgers cost. When they say that they don't sell burgers, say 'I didn't ask you if you SELL burgers, I asked how much they COST.

4. Call up Burger King and ask them if they sell pizzas, and when they say 'No' start whining about how the call wasted 30 seconds of your life that you'll never get back, and then ask them how much pizzas cost. When they say that they don't sell pizzas, say 'I didn't ask you if you SELL pizzas, I asked how much they COST.

5. Call up a radio station and ask if they sell burgers, and when they say 'No', ask if they sell pizzas. When they say no, start whining about how the call wasted 30 seconds of your life that you'll never get back, and then ask them how much burgers cost. When they say that they don't sell burgers, say 'I didn't ask you if you SELL burgers, I asked how much they COST. And then when they get out of that situation, ask them how much pizzas cost. When they say that they don't sell pizzas, say 'I didn't ask you if you SELL pizzas, I asked how much they COST.'

6. Call up a radio station pretending to be trying to call a friend, and diss the channel you're calling. For example, say that the radio station's name is Winter. Call them saying 'Hi <insert fake name here>, how are you doing?' and before they can reply, say 'How much do you hate the radio channel Winter? It's so lame!'.

7. Call up a random number in your phone book and refer to 5 - leave out the 'Call up a radio station' part

8. At the end of either calls, call again and tell them about some idiot who forgot that they sell pizzas and burgers.

9. Refer to 1 - and then call again and ask 'Is your refridgerator running', and if they say 'You already asked me that', say 'Yeah, but is your refridgerator running?', and when they say 'Yes', say 'Then you better go and catch it!'.

10. Call up a random number in your phone book and say 'Good evening Mr. Bond'. When they hang up, keep on calling them saying 'Good evening Mr. Bond'. When they stop picking up, leave messages. Millions of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 ways to annoy people in public:

1. Cut into lines saying 'I'm Jesus, let me through!'

2. Start loudly singing a song packed with cuss words

3. Start dancing in a line and pretend that the person in front of you is your son/daughter. When they try to deny it, say 'That's offensive, of course I am!'

4. Yell 'I love my bum' in a crowded mall

5. Yell 'The rapture is upon us!' in a crowded mall

6. Put posters suggesting that 'the rapture is upon us' completely covering walls and electric poles all around your area

7. Yell 'EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLING' in a crowded mall

8. During a movie, yell 'BORING!', and when people shush you, yell 'Yeah, yeah, whatever' and tip popcorn onto the person who shushed you most who is close. Run out!

9. During a movie, walk right up to the movie screen and stand in front of it, spreading your body out. When people yell 'Move!', yell 'OK!' and move closer to the center. When the ushers come, RUN!!!

10. In a crowded mall, yell 'SO RAISE YOUR GLASS IF YOU ARE WRONG IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS!'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 ways to annoy people in general

1. Constantly tell 'Yo Mama' jokes

2. Re-use the same memory multiple times

3. Sing 'This is a song that can annoy you, this is a song that annoys! This is annoying and this will annoy, lets do this again and again and again!' non-stop to the tune of '999 Springs to Flush Down' from The Simpsons

5. Constantly sing 'Bird is the Word' or 'The Duck Song'

4. Scream 'OH MY GOD YOU HAVE RABIES!!!' and point to someone random in public

5. Try to talk street to any stranger you meet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~