I was in class one day, doing all the work on a group assignment, and these two boys were making jokes about cutting.
And I thought to myself, "These assholes."
How could you possibly understand?
The abundance of sadness that has gathered in your soul has become a part of you
It can control
It is that sadness that plasters a fake smile onto your face
Makes you say, "I'm fine."
But it isn't what makes you draw the blade to your skin
It's the revelation
The moment where you realize it's there, and it's taken control of you
You can do nothing against it
How can you, after you've let it win?
It's the relevation
That makes you get up every night when all others are asleep
That makes you take apart that pencil sharpener
That makes you reach for the razors
And make cuts
Cuts all over your arms
Feet
Thighs
Stomach
Cuts all over
Again and again and again
Until what seems like the very end of time
