Denying Feelings

1. Fire

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A knock on the front door drags my drifted mind back to its place as I jump slightly from couch.

"Jesus," I mutter under my breath.

"Azu, sweetie." a soft muffled voice comes from the door and makes me stand up from my couch then walk towards the front door. When I open the door, I found my landlord standing in her flower long dress and a pair of gloves in her hand. I guess she just finished her daily routine on her small green house at the rooftop.

"Mrs. Bianchi, how can I help you?" I greet her cheerfully.

Mrs. Bianchi is the owner of my small yet cozy apartment. Well, technically she owns the whole building. The building that consists of 3 floors excluding the rooftop and each floor has 2 apartments and each apartment consists of one small bedroom, one small bathroom, kitchen, living room, and a tiny closet. She has been the owner of every apartment since I moved here for the first time and unlike my friend's landlord she is a sweet and gentle old woman in her late 50s. I always like talking with her and when she cooks food too much for herselfㅡyes, her husband passed away 15 years agoㅡ, she always invites every tenants in this building to have a dinner together at her on the first floor.

"Hello, sweetie. I hope I'm not disturbing you." she replies in her gentle voice.

"Oh, no. I'm currently not doing anything, though. How can I help you?"

She pulls her lips into a soft smile. "Really? Aren't you getting ready to go to work?" she asks.

"In a minute, yes."

"Okay. I was just wondering maybe you would like to join me for dinner tonight," she says as I notice her cheeks are slowly turning pink. She clears her throat, "It's my birthday today."

With her last words, I open my mouth widely and squeal happily. "Oh my gosh! How can I forget that? Happy birthday, Mrs. Bianchi!!" I exclaim excitedly and throw myself into her hug then slowly feel her body shaking along with the sound of her soft laugh.

"That's okay, sweetie. So, can you spare your time for the dinner tonight?" I release my hug and back away from the door to take a look at the clock on my wall.

"I'm not sure. I have to perform tonight but I'll make sure to come home early to have some dinner!"

She flaps her hand in front of me. "Don't force yourself if you can't make it, dear! I'll just ask the other tenants." She replies.

"Yes, please do. I don't want you to spend your birthday by yourself and nope I'm not forcing myself. I'll make sure to come!" I say cheerfully and she thanks me before she walks away from my apartment.

As I close my front door, I take a glance to the clock on my wall and the clock shows that it's almost 3PM and I need to get ready to work. In slow, I take a bathe and change my clothes into my white shirt and black jeans. I pull my hair into a messy yet still look nice ponytail and for the last time I take a look myself in the mirror then nod slowly.

Anyway, I am Azura Tatiana Ambrosi, people call me Azu for short. I am 21 years old and work as a singer in the jazz bar in this lovely town. I live alone by myself, no parents, no brother or sister, no grandpa or grandma, no uncle or aunt. In short, no family. Actually, I do have all of them but I decided to live seperately from them in here which very far from theirs. I have parents, obviously, I heard that they were divorced few years agoㅡI'm not really sure because they divorced after I took my leave from their houseㅡ and the last thing I heard that they both are married to someone else and live somewhere outside Italy. I have an old brother named Giovanno Innocenzo Ambrosi, Gio for short. I love him so much because he is my only family that I consider as the normal one even though he's no different from Mom and Dad. He owns an agency for world's class models from all over the world that based in Milan, he once asked me to work under his agency as a model but I immediately refused it because, why the hell I want to be a model with this ugly body? We always spare our times once a week to talk by phone, just to keep up with everything happened in our life. In case one of us need some help but we never talk more than that.