"papyrus??" I yell into the dust-covered air. The kid, they killed everyone. Why they chose this path, I don't know. I need to find my brother and fast, he went to fight them, the kid, I need to find him before they kill him, I need to-
My thoughts are interrupted when bright red catches my eye. NonononoNO. This can't be happening! I run over to Papyrus's signature scarf and feel luminescent tears stream down my face. "p-papyrus?" No answer, of course. He's dead, god, he's dead, the kid killed him. My eye starts to burn a neon blue, out of anger and grief. I scream and crumple in on myself. The only thing I had left is gone, was taken away from me. Again. I scream more.
"Sansy~" I turn around and glare at who-what's, behind me. "Why'd you let me kill him Sansy~?" They start walking towards me. "You knew what was going to happen, so why didn't you stop me~? Maybe it's because you secretly want me to kill everyone, or maybe," they smirk and grab my chin, "you aren't strong enough~?" They hold up their knife and swing it across my chest. Then it all goes black.
I suddenly jerk awake, laying in a pool of my sweat and tears. 'pathetic. i can't save anyone, not even myself. i'm a waste of space, so why, why am I still here? everyone'd be better off without me anyway. they'd be happy, maybe I should leave, or... no, I couldn't do that to pap, no matter how much I want to.' My head turns and my eyes slowly fall to my dresser drawer. I walk across the room and start shuffling through my clothes, picking up the knife I hid there.
"man, i really am fucked up ain't i?" I say as I pull the knife out. I pull off my jacket and trace my phalanges over my many scars. I place the knife on my radius and I begin to cut, hissing in pain, but still staying relatively quiet, aware that Papyrus is in the room next to me.
One cut.
HP 0.8/1
Two cuts.
HP 0.65/1
Three cuts.
HP 0.3/1
Perfect. One more and this can all be over. 'Until the world is reset again.' I push that thought from my head as I bring the knife closer to my arm, about to make another cut.
"S-Sans.." Someone whimpered by the door. 'Oh. Oh God no.' I slowly turn my head and see Papyrus standing behind it. 'Nonono!'
"uh.. hey.."
"Brother.. Please put that down.." he says and points to the knife. I look at it and slowly put it down next to me. Papyrus starts walking over to me. "Sans.. Why..?"
"i-i.." I feel tears starting to slide down my face and Papyrus leans down to hug me, but I push him away, curling into a ball.
"Please look at me.." That voice.. My soul aches knowing that I caused it, but I can't deny him anything, so I turn around again and look him in the eyes. "It'll be okay, I'm not mad," I shake my head.
"it's not okay, it never is! it keeps getting reset! i've seen you die so many times. so, so many times papyrus.. and.. a-and i can't keep pretending like everything's okay, cause it's not. you won't even remember we had this conversation.. and i just-i can't do this anymore.." The tears fall faster.
"Sans, what are you talking about?" Of course he wouldn't know, no one remembers except me..
"i-it's nothing, bro."
"Sans, please," I clench my eyes shut and shake my head. "Sans," he says more firm. I shake my head again. "SANS!" He half-yells. I flinch. He reaches for me and I back into the wall. His eyebrows furrow in worry as he says, "Do you not trust me, brother?" My eyes shoot open at that.
"what? no! that's not it at all! it's just.. something i can't tell anyone, no one knows and.. they wouldn't understand anyway.."
"Sans, let me see your arm." Fuckfuckfuckfuck.
"uh.. n-no." He comes closer and forcefully grabs my arm. "ow! hey, be careful," I say and wince slightly
"Sans.." Oh God. 'i made him upset. i fucked up. i'm terrible. i'm-" A hand cups my cheek.
"p-pap what-" I hardly register teeth on teeth and when I do my brain nearly shuts down. The kiss only lasts a few seconds but it's enough to turn my face a bright blue. "Pap..?"
"I love you, Sans. Please don't hurt yourself."
"i-i.." My eyes overflow with tears, "i love you too.. i thought you'd l-leave me if you found that out, after all, who'd wanna be with a lazy, worthless skeleton like me?"
"Me." The dam finally breaks and I start bawling into his scarf. "Shh.. It's okay Sans.."
"i'm-i," I fail to put my thoughts into words. We sit like that for a while with me crying and Papyrus comforting me.
"I have to go shopping for more spaghetti ingredients, would you like to come with, Sans?" I shake my head. "Okay, let's get you to sleep, I will go later.
"m'kay," I mumble as he lays next to me. I immediately latch onto his ribcage and slowly drift to sleep, not even waking when Papyrus leaves.
