Love Is A Weapon

Chapter Four . . . Unpleasant Surprise

“Have you heard about the curse!?” someone shouted. My head flipped backwards facing a familiar face.

    “I’ve told you about it, but you didn't listen!” she looked at me with a desperate face! She wanted me to know how many times she tried to tell him. How many times she tried to tell Jake about the curse Kyle put upon him. Sarah stood in front of me, but I knew it wasn't me standing in front of her. I could clearly see the face structure of him in her glooming green eyes. The eyes he once fell in love with.

    The pain drew past me; I knew that this wasn't reality, because he loved me now. Or did he? … Of course he does. I wouldn't think for whatever in the world that he’s been dating Sarah behind my back while he was gone. I let go of that thought in time for the dream to change. Sarah wasn't there anymore, and the surroundings disappeared.

    “Marilyn … Marilyn … Marilyn” a voice whispered as old gothic buildings appear. A London sign appears right in front of me, and it read “Wickenham Lane”. Then more surroundings appeared all around me, and it looks like an old time England. The road went all around with no end visible. I was trapped in this place, where I had no way out, and only a voice whispering in my head.

   “Be cahrful… Thi end is nearh” the voice spluttered as the words reached me. There was no one in the world to see, except the old dark houses. No birds sang, and no sound was to hear. My head started hurting as I decided to walk around looking for the person speaking the words. I really needed to know who’s warning me, who’s telling me to be careful. My fingers touched the wall as I neared the only corner I could find in this godforsaken place.

   Then darkness surrounded me again, and there was nothing to see for a very long time. I could feel something holding around me before it let go and then everything got red, bloody red. Like someone just had splattered blood all around. Then the hands surrounded me once again. I could feel the heat pulse from the person holding me, and then I turned around facing the person. It’s a face I haven’t seen before. A face that looked terrified. He was good looking, and cute. A tear fell from his eye, and my heart knocked in pain.

   “Look at me, and tell me that this isn’t the end of it?” he said. I’m too speechless to even answer his question. His hands reached for my face, as if he was going to kiss me, but before he got there, he stopped and looked at me in shock. I could hear a small groan, before I could feel a sharp object touching the tip of my chest. Blood came running out his mouth, and his chest. The sharp object had hit him straight in his heart, and that was when I realized he was dead…

*

The sound of the alarm woke me from the awful nightmare. I didn't dare to open my eyes, because the sun would burn my eyes. I let my fingers guide themselves to the nightstand where my alarm still beeped. I turned the alarm off.

    I’m afraid that when I finally decide to open my eyes, I will only face an empty bed. I know I wont, because I can feel his weight heavies the bed.

    I let my hand reach out to touch his naked body. It doesn’t take long before I can feel something cold against my fingers. I try to ignore the feeling, but I quickly realize it’s wet… The bed is wet. I quickly open my eyes staring straight towards the ceiling. My heart starts beating faster as the sight raged over me. The ceiling once used to be white, but I painted it gray, so that the brown walls would match the ceiling. The color I was now faced with wasn't either of those colors. It was red.

    It didn't take long for me to realize that it was blood I was faced with. In a shock I turned my head facing Jake. He was naked, but something was missing.

     I couldn't feel any pain, only shock. The last time I would ever be able to kiss his lips is gone, because there is no head in sight. I could never see him smile or laugh again. He’s gone. A man that I clearly loved died in my dreams, and now the man I really loved is dead?

    I lifted my body only to lie on top of Jake one more time before I have to say goodbye. To hug his body, and feel his heat, which clearly no longer is there. My Jake is gone.

*

It took quite sometime to buckle myself together the past weeks after that morning. I keep getting small flashes of our past, even though I’ve tried to forget him these past weeks. I remember each and every detail of the morning I woke up only to see my beloved dead right in front of my eyes. I suppose that someone had been in my apartment, and killed him, because I really couldn't make the picture of me killing him fit to the harsh environment.

    I remember wiping his blood from the ceilings all day. I didn't remove his body from the bed before the night came. I packed his body into a plastic bag, like a murderer would do and then I lifted him into the car. I chose to drive him to our favorite lake. Benson Lake, I remember all our picnics, and the times we ran naked, like Eva & Adam. The thought of us bathing there naked made me smile, trying to picture that we would never ever do that again. Still I couldn't cry.

    When I arrived at the lake I dragged the plastic bag to the pier, and opened it. Then I kissed his chest one last time, and dumped him into the lake saying goodbye.

    I don't know why I haven’t cried, but the thought of not seeing his face strike me as an option. It might be therefore I didn't cry. I don't feel that the dead body belonged to him; maybe he faked his own death to keep me safe?

Me now sitting at the breakfast table, just as paralyzed as I was when Jake left the first time. I feel maybe even lonelier then before. The thought of him never ever being here in the first place satisfies me, because I really never got to see his face that morning. It might’ve been a depressed illusion even being there the evening before.

    The windows roam the entire city, and all of the Manhattan citizens.  The people look really busy, but happy. They’re a whole new world for me. I have been so off grid within the social world, and I haven’t had friends in many years. I haven’t been needing any friends since Jake entered my world. The friends I had I ignored after graduating high school. I didn't bother keeping in touch with anyone except Jake. Now that he’s gone, I regret it, because I don't have anyone to support me in these dark days. I don't dare walking outside this apartment, because I’m so hurt, and afraid that no one will like me. I’m too afraid to talk to anyone at all. I could’ve had my family, but they’re all dead. My mom, and dad were killed in a car crash several years ago. I didn't get to have any siblings, and my parents never introduced me properly to anyone else in my family.

KNOCK KNOCK … KNOCK KNOCK … KNOCK KNOCK… With the pressure that was hit onto the door made me frightened. I’m definitely not expecting the one standing at my door. So I’m careful on where I put my feet when I slowly walk towards the door.

    KNOCK KNOCK… The person outside the door sounds determined to get in. My feet slowly reach closer to the door, and I slowly can look through the peephole. It’s a red haired woman standing there. I can’t get a look at her face, but she looks quite elegant.

     I reach for the handle in front of me and right before I’m about to open the door it get pushed straight at me. The strength of the push sends me straight against the hard kitchen wall. There’s something familiar about the woman standing in front of me. She doesn't look happy at all. Her green eyes pursue mine as she reach for my hand.

    “Hello, I’m Sarah Wayne” her smile makes my spine shiver, before I slowly faint into darkness.