Family [Jessie J]

Chapter 10

I quickly got up from Clair's bed and straightened out my clothes. I ran out of the door after grabbing my keys and my coat. I started driving, going no where in particular. Just turning whenever it felt right to turn. I wasn't really concentrating on where I was going. Tears had started to drip down my face as I thought about what I'd done. I've always been that person who hated anyone that cheated on their partner and now look what I've done. I know I've had feelings for Clair for a while but I though she was straight. Otherwise I would have tried to make Clair mine ages ago. I'd pushed my feelings towards Clair to the back of my mind years ago. But what about Danny? I've always loved Danny as a brother. I've always liked Danny more than most boys. Maybe I just liked and Danny and not like-liked Danny. He's the sweetest guy around. He's always gone out of his way to look after me and make sure I'm okay. What if he loves me though? I can't break his heart. Tears were streaming down my face so quick I couldn't see where I was going so I pulled in to the side of the street.

I needed to tell someone how I felt. Someone I could trust. Not Holly. I trust her with my life but... She'd probably end up saying something to Clair. I could speak to Ellen? I don't really know her though. Would she tell the girls? I don't think she would. I looked around to see where I was. I'm not that far way from Lewie's apartment. Ellen would be there right? I wiped my eyes and concentrated on where I was going this time. Ten minutes later, I was outside Lewie's apartment.

"Jess! What a lovely surpri- Are you okay?" Lewie asked with concern in his voice.

"I errm.. Is Ellen in?" I sniffed.

"Yeah... Come in. Can I get you anything?" He asked whilst taking me through to the living room.

"I'm alright thanks Lew." I attempted a smile. If it looked genuine or not I'll never know.

"Well if I can get you anything let me know. El is just in the shower, she won't be long." He smiled. "I hate seeing you like this. Danny hasn't done anything to you has he?"

"No. This isn't Danny. It's me." I muttered.

"Good. You deserve a lot more than someone who's just going to play you about." Lewie spoke so confidently.

"Do I though?" I asked, tears brimming my eyes.

"Jess what's happened?" Lewie asked.

"I just need to speak to-"

"Jess!" Ellen's happy voice exclaimed. "Are you okay?" I shook my head and embraced her in a hug and cried into her shoulder. "Lew, could you give us a few?" I heard Lewie leave the room and Ellen guided me to the sofa. "What's happened Jess?" She asked sympathetically.

"You promise not to tell anyone?"

"Pinky promise." She held out her pinky finger, which I smiled at, wrapped my finger around hers and I told her everything. I told her my feelings towards Danny and Clair. I told her about the kiss. I told her how being with Danny wasn't what I expected. I literally told her everything.

"Do you regret kissing Clair?" Ellen asked. I thought about my answer before replying.

"Yes." I said slowly, still unsure whether that was the correct answer.

"You hesitated." She said straight away.

"I... I do. But I don't. I mean... I think it helped Clair figure some stuff out, she'd been hinting all day that she thought she liked girls. And that lesbian movie we watched didn't help. I was horny... I still am... Not that that's an excuse." I rambled on.

"Why don't you have sex with Dan then?" I suddenly found my hands very interesting. "You know, if you and Danny have sex it might help you to fall in love with him." She leaned closer to me and lowered her voice. "I knew I really liked Lewie and I was having similar doubts to you, but as soon as we had sex I fell head over heals in love with him. Just don't tell him that." She pulled away and smiled.