An Unexpected Meeting

Chapter 7

After Jamie and I had called on the phone, I decided to meet up with him. I still love him. I know I do. Deep in my heart. But he has hurt me. He has a busy life. He's a famous person, who says it won't happen again ? Who says he won't break my heart again ?

I take the underground to go Jamie's apartment. After only 10 minutes I've reached his apartment. I breathe in and out before I knock on his door.
He opens the door, and to be honest, he looks like a mess. His hair is all messy, and it looks as if he hasn't slept for days. Even though his face lights up when he sees me, he is still sad. I can see it in his eyes.
"Thank you - for coming", he starts talking slowly. I swallow and nod as I force a small smile. Tears start to form in my eyes. Being around him hurts. It's different, being with him at this very moment, and not a good kind of different.
He comes closer to me to pull me into a hug, but I take a step back and turn my head away.
"Please don't", I whisper. I can't talk much, for my voice is about to break. Jamie stands back, and I immediately walk past him into his house. He closes the front door behind him and follows me inside.

He looks me into my eyes, but I'm too hurt to look back in his. We stand here quietly for a few minutes, both not knowing what to say or do.
"Please, sit down", Jamie suddenly says. I nod my head and do as he says. I sit down on his couch and he sits down next to me.
"Do - do you want something to drink ?"
I shake my head. I look him into his eyes and wait for him to start talking.
"I - I'm so - I'm really sorry for what happened", Jamie starts. He swallows and looks away from me. Now he's the one not looking at me.
"You know I wouldn't ever lie to you. I didn't know Julia was coming."
"It's not about her coming to our - date", I manage to say. I look away from him again, but I feel his eyes on me.
"I know it isn't. But even after everything that she has said, I hope you believe me. Do you remember when I called you, and that I told you I broke up with Julia ? Do you remember when I told you I had feelings for someone else ? Do you remember the first time I told you -"
"The first time you told me you loved me."
I look up at him. We finally look into each other's eyes. I feel the first tear sliding down my cheek, and I see that his eyes are getting watery too.
"Yes. I remember that."
"I meant it, Emma. I meant it all. None of it was a lie. I really did break up with Julia, and that was because I already had feelings for you. And I'm still having feelings for you. I love you, Emma."
Jamie closes his eyes, to stop his tears from falling. Seeing him like this, makes me want to hug him, kiss him softly and make all the pain go away, but I know I can't give in. For some reason, I'm not letting myself.
"You - kissed her, Jamie", I finally say. More tears are coming out of my eyes as I picture them kissing again.
"She kissed me."
"You kissed her back !"
I stand up, now crying out loud and looking at him. He stands up also, and he reaches out for me to calm me down, but I roughly push him away.
"Please, don't make this much harder than it already is", I say to him after I've calmed down again. "I think it's better if we won't see each other anymore for a while."
His face falls, and so does mine.
"I'm sorry", I whisper underneath my breath before walking to his front door. I open the door, but look at him one last time before leaving his house.
"I will always love you, Emma", Jamie says, looking me into my eyes. I look back into his, tears still falling down my face.
"I love you too", I whisper, as I walk out of his house and close his door behind me.

I don't know if I'm going to see him again. Perhaps that was the last time I looked him into his eyes. It hurt, looking at him, and it hurt even more to tell him we aren't going to have a future together. Because I love him. I still love him.

AUTHORS NOTE
hi guys,
I'm sorry, I know this chapter is a little short in comparison with the others. I promise I'll make the next chapters longer, and I promise the story will be happier than it is now 🙈
- xx - madelon