The Battle Cry of Freedom

CH 3

“You are going insane.” Gracie said, braiding her hair.

“No, I’m serious—people these days can be easily fooled.”

“Not when the matters concern war, Suz. Besides, that white face of yours can’t pass for a boy.”

“Sure it can…” She was right, how the hell could I convince a bunch of men I’m a man? Brown eyes as big as mine would be found on a baby boy, not a grown one.

The idea came to me shortly after finding the paper recruiting nurses, I could simply become a soldier. Would be easier than trying to pass as a thirty-year-old woman.

“Be realistic, Mother wouldn’t approve.”

“What makes you think she would have to? That is the point, I want to get away,“

Gracie stood up abruptly, nightgown swaying.  Her brows formed a stern face in the warm candlelight. “What the hell, Suzannah?” She whispered as loud as humanly possible.

“Shh! Sit down—“

“No. I already told you this, you aren’t a child anymore; you can’t climb out the window whenever you want to. You cannot engage in whatever fantastical event you want to. Especially in this case.”

I stared at the floor, that rug has been in my room since I could remember.

“I need to get outta here. I can’t live the way mother forces me to. Don’t you understand that I wanna go on an adventure like we used to? Leave home?”

“Not in the event of possible death.” She argued.

With that Gracie calmly stood up, making my mattress shift under me.

She breathed sharply, “And by the way, Suzannah. Mother is planning for you to be engaged and married by the end of this season, if not earlier.”

Gracie left my room and slammed my door behind her, leaving me in painful silence. I have lost two people in the past two days. Maybe three, I don’t know where I am.

I headed downstairs a while later, the house silent.

Just as I stepped from the bottom stair, my mother broke that silence.

            “Suzannah, I need to talk with you.”

            I jumped a little, and then cleared my throat, “Sure.”

            Mother exhaled and walked to the foyer, “We need to talk about your future Suzannah.”

            “What do you mean?” I approached as I stared at her moonlit face.

            “I mean what I said, your future. In other words I would like to discuss marriage. There is a fine young man by the name of Wilson Capburn. He’s the age of twenty two and is very wealthy—“

            I cut her off after choking on my own saliva, “Marriage.” I shook my head and giggled sarcastically, the loose hair swaying out of my braid. “No.”

            “Suzannah, do you think this is optional? I scheduled for his mother, Mrs. Capburn, and he to come tomorrow morning.” She paused.  “He seems anxious to meet you.” She said a little too quietly.

            Funny how she said “scheduled,” is this some sort of business work to her? Must be.

            I circled my eyes.

            The lamps danced around the room, I held my head.

            How can I possibly marry a man, commit my life to someone I’ve only seen once.