Since I found out I'm sick, I've been thinking a lot of what I want in life, since I don't have a lot of it.
I loved my long dirty blond hair, but now it's short up to my shoulders. I wanted this sense I was 13 but my dad said no, however sense my dads death I cut it. I cut to the point where there's nothing left but numbness, and misery.
But I'm not just talking about my hair, I'm talking about myself too. My arms are starting to hurt when I take showers. It started out with scratches but now there deep, deep enough so that the blood doesn't just last minutes.
After my hair I loved the feeling of change, I loved how you feel alive like you can do anything. So I started changing, my clothes, my attitude, my language, my choices, and my friends. Sure it's not a good change but it's fun, but it's not fun knowing when your going to die. It could be years from now, it can be any hour, minute, or second. That's why you have to live right now don't hold back from what you want.
My mom said I've change, and I did. From what she's been saying I'm a bitch. I still talk to blue but he doesn't run in the same crowd as I, he's been trying to help.... me. But I don't know what needs 'help' from what I know I'm perfectly fine I've been saying. I broke down in front of sam, maybe because I was drunk or maybe because I've been lonely for 17 years. I have absolutely no one to talk too, heck my mom even tried getting me a shrink, hell if I don't talk to her why the hell I'm going to talk to some stranger.
Text message
Blue "how are you"
Me "fine"
End of text
Maybe if I kill myself, it don't be so sad about some sickness killing me. Maybe.
YOU ARE READING
Tomorrow
Historia CortaA girl who always has her headphones in, blaring with twenty one pilots, on the loop. Only for a boy who notices her, and sees her but she never sees him.
