4bidden

Prologue

I would never be the first to admittedly say my life was perfect. It was galaxies away from it. Rent was high, my school was a barricade of issues and my little family was like broken glass. But instead of cleaning the shards off the floor like normal humans, we all blindly stepped on the pieces and bled, then blamed one another for it. Nevertheless, I had a family, and for a girl with no hopes for anything better, that was enough for me.

There's a time, however, in everyone's life when a shift occurs, turning their whole life into a complete one-eighty. The change transforms a person into someone new, for better or for worse, and because of it, they're never the same.

Only a year ago I was jamming out to punk music in my room wishing for the days I'd be out on my own. I'd hang out at my best friend's place, sneak out here and there, barely try in school, and just accept the life I had. So basically the "typical teen" garbage that I get ridiculed for. Those used to be my old trivial problems, but not anymore.

Fast forward a year, and you'll find me doing the exact opposite. Everything I once knew and loved is now stripped away from me, and hiding has become my way of coping with the tragedy of my life. Why would I hide, you ask? Simple, when your ex-boyfriend decides to take you in after your entire immediate family dies from a tragic plane crash, things get pretty awkward and dare I say it, depressing.

It's unreal to imagine, one minute I had a family, and the next minute I was left stunned by the ashes of everything I knew. And who did I text first?

Not my aunt.

Not my uncle.

Not my grandma.

Not my best friend.

Yep, my secret ex-boyfriend, the one I'm stuck having a "friendly" relationship with.

Even after reaching out to him first, none of my family members were prepared or willing to let me stay with them. I got all the excuses. No room, no money, no reply, no time, and of course, no care in the world. I was alone until he boldly decided to fly back to Washington, sign some boring paperwork, and fly me back to his crazed house.

"It'll be just like before, right Flower?" I know he tried to make light conversation, but sitting in the same death trap my family had to endure ruined any magical moment I would've had with him. Needless to say, the plane ride to North Carolina was agony the whole way. I even wondered about the best way to escape and tried to figure out how the damn windows opened so I could hop out and end my suffering. That fantasy didn't last very long though, which made me equally pissed off and annoyed.

What made it more awkward was imagining the look on his mother's face as I walked right back into their lives, a mixture of care and uneasiness. I'd tried to play the uninterested type, but I assume both of our acting skills didn't cut. She was sweet, but I was treading on dangerous waters again, and there was no escaping from that. But there I was, lost without a family or hope, and they all agreed it would be kind to bring me up as their little pet.

When my eyes soaked in the masterpiece next to me, they begged to notice some flaw or disturbance on that impeccable face of his. But it was utterly hopeless. He's pure perfection.

I shot a cynical smile and snapped my mind back into reverie while I glared out the window.

Stupid face, stupid smile, stupid eyes, stupid kindness, stupid family, and stupid new girlfriend that I know he probably has. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

This ex of mine was none other than Paxson Morris, an angel that has blessed the world with his existence. Why is his presence such a huge deal? Well, that's unfortunately difficult to explain in words. Basically, he's a guy I'm utterly crazy about. So crazy to the point where I even made alliteration based on him;

Perfect Paxson picked a precious Prim for pretty Princess Priscilla.

I'm Prim, the ex, and who may Priscilla be? Paxson's new experiment.

In a hypothetical fantasy world that was created by my brilliantly unoriginal mind, here's how this played out: Paxson was strolling through a meadow one day, and came across a blooming Prim. So mesmerized by the flower, he'd come back to see her for days and flood her with compliments galore. Paxson eventually loved this flower so much that he cut off her roots and kept her for himself. But what's this? Beautiful Priscilla, rare with beauty, stabs Paxson and floods all his senses. Now blinded by her poison, he was determined to win her affection. Paxson then left the sweet Prim and ran towards fair lady Priscilla to catch her; leaving a broken, dead Prim flower on the ground to rot.

I'll be honest, I'm not here to mope around over perfect Paxson. In fact, I have much better reasons to be gloomy and dead inside. For one, my two overbearing parents and only sibling were dead, and the icing on the cake is how my relatives from all over the country didn't even have the heart to finish raising me.

And who ended up coming to my rescue? My ex-boyfriend with his jacked-up emotional issues along with his quadruple family drama.

Okay, maybe I did mope around over him a little after the breakup, and even after reuniting with him I'm still not appreciating it, but that's not the point. The point is life is a major letdown. That and I'll never be pleased with the luck I get.

But I guess beggars can't be choosers, right?

So two minutes turns into two days, two weeks, and then two months, and it's the same routine every day.

At six am, Paxson's younger sibling, Caddy, wakes us all up with her whining. Ethan, the second youngest storms down the steps for some unearned attention from his mom, Whitney. Uncle Ronnie tends to little Caddy before work. The third oldest, Fabien, begs for ten more minutes of peace, and Paxson's already at work, almost killing himself every day to support his family and help his mom out with the kids.

To sum up my day of hell, it goes like this: I wake up wishing the day was already over. Doing the bare minimum to look decent, I then barely touch my breakfast, ignore everyone and everything at school, hide in the guest room until dinner, and pretend I'm a ghost, watching life flow right by me. I keep my head down to ignore Whitney's glares of both sympathy and disturbance by my presence. Then when I'm clear to leave, I head to my new room and ponder about life.

In the mess of it all, I'm then burned by the worst phrase ever said to me every night, which is delivered by Paxson, of course. "Goodnight Flower. Have sweet dreams." Oh, I'll have dreams alright, but whether they'll be sweet is another story. I've never been known for being sweet, but for once, it would be nice to rely on unconscious clips of images to sweep me away from my reality.

Was my life okay? Yeah, It was okay. Is my life okay now? Not even a fraction of it is okay, but I'm sick of suckling over every day. After months of feeling sorry for myself and continuous thinking, my mind is turning into mush! I want this change to turn into something positive. Everything happens for a reason, and I pray for this upside-down life to become a sea of normal. I want to look back on this chip in my life and have grown from it.

Then maybe, just maybe, I could gain something out of all this nonsense. And maybe, just maybe, that something will be Paxson.

Because I'm helplessly in love with him.

But maybe, being with him is illegal...

Hello! Thank you very much for stopping by to read. I hope you enjoy it and stick around!