I lived a life with little love, a book of goodbyes and lungs full of smoke. I'm not crazy, I had told them that when they put me here...but no one ever believes a girl who tried to kill herself.
*Trigger warning" ⚠️ could stir up emotions of suicide, self harm, or survivors guilt
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Did you hear" the world fell around me, it was grey and pretty and colorful and ugly, harsh and soft, light and dark "her mother killed herself" they whispered "guess crazy runs in the family" they laughed "guess so". I turn to the stupid ones talking "You're in here, what does that say about you", I turn running to my room and slamming the door. Tammy was under the covers still "Tammy" I said quietly "it's okay to cry, she was your mother".
Her head popped up from under the covers "no she wasn't" I winced "Well your stepmother, but she raised you" she just stared "Tammy" she looked down at her hands "she failed, I won't" her breath shook "not again". My blood runs cold "Tamatha, this world, the world that you're in now, this is the real world" she looks up quickly sneering at me "you think I don't know that, I do but-but it doesn't matter because I have to go" she pops the yellowish clear pill from her mouth grimacing and stuffing it in her pocket "wh-what how" I ask and she grins wildly "magic".
I shake my head "you remember what happened last time you stopped Tammy" her eyes grow distant "you mean when I finally felt like me again" I wince "sometimes you isn't good enough" sad but an inevitable truth "sometimes we have to fake ourselves into being better then who people expect us to be" I flop down on the bed and look at Tammy walking slowly to the door "good bye Eve" my eyebrows furrow, a small crease in between my brow bones forming "Ta-" I can't get the word out. Her feet make no sound and neither does my hand pounding on the bed, I didn't like this I didn't like this one bit.
I stand up following Tammy out the door and she walks up the stairs, farther and farther and farther until I realize where she's going "Tammy no" I try to shout out but the world still lswallows it whole.
I tackle Tammy but she managed to pry me off with unimaginable strength pushing me hard, before running up the stairs still silently.
As she pushed the roof door open and ran to the edge I ran after her but it was like I was in slow motion and she was in fast forward. All I could do was watch screaming silently as she climbed on the railing spread her arms and fell forward "no" I scream and the sound breaks through the barrier, I reach for the edge but it's too late Tammy is gone and it's all my fault "help" I scream looking down, but not opening my eyes, "please someone". Suddenly I'm grabbed by my arms and pulled back into the building, shivering and crying "sssh" Nicholas says "you have to be quiet" I nod whimpering and falling to my knees "Tammy" I say pathetically and he rolls his eyes "calm down-" he starts but I just freak out even more "calm down" I shout "Tammy just offed herself and you're telling me to calm down" he shushes me again laughing "calm down you'll be fine and Tammy will be back here good as new tomorrow".
I shake my head "no" I sob it doesn't work that way "she can't just messiah up and be resurrected" he grimaced "not exactly but good try" I sniffle "listen don't say anything to anyone until tomorrow and then you'll see" I nod sniffing maybe I was just as crazy as the people here, I mean who else would listen to Nicholas Tumbro, or maybe I just wish I was, at least the crazy ones are content.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Sunlight streamed out of the small window and I stretched out before whipping around to Tamatha's be to see it neatly made just like it was last night "oh, no Tammy" I shook my head, putting my face in my hands and rubbing my face back to my neck. I get up breathing heavily putting on socks and walking out of my room onto the sterile floors "hello Ms.thing breakfast is about to be served hurry on now" I nod at Gloria walking slash tiptoeing to the mess hall and looking around the room to see Nicholas sitting down laughing at something Tammy said...wait Tammy "I rush over there sitting down and hugging her "Tammy are you okay" she looks at me smiling "yeah, had to go to Eden last night sorry you had too see that I was a nervous wreck, everyone was still super angry at me for missing the first meeting, and when I tried to explain that I didn't have a map...".
I turn to see Nicholas smiling at me, I roll my eyes and he chuckles a little "politics man" Tammy finishes and I nod acting like I understand every word she's saying, before looking her up and down, she seemed more comfortable, more normal, her skin was tanned and her hair was bouncier "you look good Tammy" I say and she looks up at me surprised "oh thank you, I always look like this before they start pumping me full of drugs again" I nod never really noticing it until now but she was right. I flip back my red hair coughing, my chest was burning, it was hot, like my heart would burn through my chest. I just kept coughing heavily and my hand, feeling woozy, this wasn't good what would my mother say "you okay" I hear Nicholas say and I just wave him off looking at my fist and grimacing, blood "oh my gosh Casey" I fall over and everything goes black, except for two dots of red right in the middle of the deep, dark, nothing.
