Something Worth Living For {Ryden AU}

1b

Lunch is very... interesting. Jayda tries to include Ryan in our conversations, but he just won't, and I'll admit, the kid has definitely caught my interest by now. Something is obviously going on with him, and it's not just your normal case of shyness.

"So. Ryan," I start. Ryan jumps, probably because I haven't said anything to him since Jayda found him and brought him over here. He darts his eyes up to me. "Where did you go before you came here?" He just kind of stares at me, uncomprehending. "Y'know, like what school?" I elaborate.

"Oh," he says, barely audible. "Um. I didn't. I mean, I was- at home. This is the first school I've ever been to," he struggles, eyebrows scrunched in frustration.

"You were home-schooled?" I supply, my tone maybe a bit condescending.

"Yeah," he mumbles, but there's something weird about the way he says it.

"Oh wow, so this whole school thing is totally new to you, huh?" Spencer asks, turning away from his argument with Pete about which Batman was the best. Pete is being extra annoying today, and I kind of want to punch him. He is not helping my ongoing bad mood.

"Um, yes," Ryan murmurs. So he was home-schooled. Maybe that's why he's so odd. Has he ever even had any kind of social life?

"Well, surely you must have had friends, right?" I ask bluntly. Jayda shoots me a sharp look, but I pretend not to notice. Sometimes you have to be blunt with difficult people.

"N-not really," he stutters. It's clear that he doesn't want to talk about it, so I leave him alone, nodding.

"Well, look. Why don't you just stick with us? We don't want you to be alone," Jayda says gently. She really is absurdly nice. I used to be like that. But this last year has been bad for me. That's when I started hating it all. That's when all the depression started. Now I'm just a bit of an introvert. It's not like I'm mean, per se; I'm just kind of... unfeeling.

"You don't have to be nice to me," Ryan says softly, looking down. I feel a sudden overwhelming pang of sadness for the boy; the first real emotion I've felt toward anything for quite a while.

"It's not charity, if that's what you think," I interfere. "If we didn't want you around us, you'd know it," I shrug. Ryan suddenly meets my eyes, and I can't place the look in his eyes; almost... uncomprehending.

Jayda smiles and bumps his shoulder, and a corner of his mouth twitches up a fraction of an inch, and for a fleeting moment, I find myself wishing I could see him really smile.

***

"You wanna go to the movies?" Jayda asks, popping into my room.

"No," I say without looking up from my book. It's Friday night, and my week has been thoroughly exhausting, so I'd just like to stay home and wallow in self-pity, thanks.

"Come on!" she begs. "I thought about inviting Ryan." I look up, my attention finally won over. Every day that boy just gets stranger and stranger. Like yesterday, he didn't know what an iPod was. Who doesn't know that, honestly? There's something off about that boy, and I just can't put my finger on it.

"How do you plan on asking him? We don't know where he lives. We don't have his number," I remind her.

"No," she rolls her eyes. "I meant earlier today, at school, I thought about inviting him. But he's just so antisocial I figured he'd say no." I nod, listening intently. I always listen when people talk about the new kid, although not a lot of people particularly talk about him. I've heard a few kids say that he's strange; that he won't talk to them. He talks to me more than anyone, and I don't know why. It's like he just... trusts me.