Elevator Music

Three Hours

It takes Jin approximately three hours after their lunch to find an unfathomable amount of information on Jeongguk. Taehyung is very concerned.

The campus isn't small. It's quite big, on the contrary (unlike Hyungwon's asshole, unfortunately) and Taehyung is not only concerned about the safety of the students on the campus due to Seokjin's mere presence but also about what his hyung does in his free time.

He brought over a whole file on all the information about Jeongguk that he could find. It's terrifying.

"How did you even-" Taehyung struggles to find the right words when Seokjin shows up with the file. It includes his fucking blood type. Taehyung doesn't know what to do with this information.

"That's cool and all," Jimin says, flipping through some pages, "But it doesn't mention his dick size. Sad,"

Taehyung squawks indignantly while Namjoon eyes Jimin in horror. Jimin looks nonchalant. That blender is going to get it.

Yoongi was lucky, not having to face this. He was probably back at his own place, working on a mixtape dedicated to his non-existent fans.

"Jin hyung," Taehyung starts after he learns that Jeongguk has an older brother, "This is illegal. Are you even allowed to do this?"

Seokjin shrugs, "I work at the general offices. It's not hard to look through the files and find a student,"

"This is personal information under the university's confidence, we shouldn't read this file, " Namjoon says while reading the file.

Taehyung eyes him. Namjoon is looking at Jeongguk's qualifications. Figures.

Seokjin shrugs again while Taehyung involuntarily hears Jimin mutter something about Jeongguk's height. He would laugh at the older's expense of being tragically shorter than most people except Min Yoongi but he's still trying to fathom the situation.

"It has his fucking phone number, Jin!" Namjoon exclaims, pausing in the action of flipping through he pages he'd just told them not to flip through, "I'm reporting you. Suing you, calling my lawyers. See you in court,"

"Your mother doesn't count as a lawyer," Jin sighs, "And your kitchen isn't court. Your mom will probably just give us all cookies,"

"Your mom is so nice," Taehyung says, "Unlike you. She doesn't look like a pancake either,"

Namjoon glares, "Hey!"

Jimin grumbles under his breath again, "This Jeon kid is taller than me. Everyone's taller than me,"

"Don't worry," Jin says immediately, patting Jimin's head, "Yoongi's probably shorter than you. We just don't tell him,"

Jimin looks significantly happier at this and goes back to the file, "Jeongguk's a business major. That's funny. It says he used to do photography, he switched. Business, ew,"

"Oh, yeah. He dropped a few of his files in the elevator. The font was kinda ugly. Maybe lower than comic sans level,"

He can feel Namjoon sobbing in this background, "Oh god, why? What fonts?"

"It was nice of you to do this Jin hyung. Also sort of illegal but we've gotten past that point," Taehyung says, eyeing Jeongguk's unfairly good looking picture printed onto the file.