Monster (A Supernatural Fanfiction) [1]

Why I made Cassandra Moore as she is

So, as I'm sure you've noticed, Cassandra Moore has a lot of mental problems. But hang on hang on, there's a reason I made her that way. Sure, it seemed like too much, but what if I told you that one of my friends actually has depression, schizophrenia, suicide attempts, and was raped? It's true. She's gone through a lot and she's still fighting strong.

In a lot of Supernatural fanfictions that I've read I've noticed that the OC women are already strong and fierce or quickly become strong and fierce and stay that way. Throughout Monster Cassandra has had a good amount of breakdowns. She's found a reason to live, and then everything just falls apart and she's lost all hope. That's a daily struggle in the life of someone with depression. Trust me. I lived it for four years and I'm still struggling through it. People have their relapses more often than you'd think.

I'm sure you also noticed that Dean's character wasn't quite the same as it is in Supernatural. He's more caring and understanding and he wants to be there for Cassandra. He's softer. Of course, I had to change his character up a bit to fit the plot and with Cassandra's struggles, but I tried to keep it as close as possible. He still had some small feelings for other women in his past—like Lisa—and he still did a lot of what he's done throughout Season 5. He was trying to change his ways to make Cassandra happy.

In the beginning, everyone was nice to Cassandra because they needed her as the weapon to defeat Lucifer but then she started to grow on them.

A lot of Cassandra's struggles went back to the fact that she couldn't reproduce, but the main reason wasn't because of the fact that it was what Dean wanted, it was because of how it happened. I didn't reveal what truly happened until the end because I felt that revealing too much in the beginning of the story would just ruin it. We still don't know her whole story. We know some of the bad things that has happened to her and we know why they were caused, but we also don't know what she was like with her friends and with her parents. We don't know what Cassandra was really like before her time with the Winchesters.

I made Cassandra so "broken" because I needed people to relate to her, just as some of my beta readers have revealed that they do. She had problems that most of us can relate to. But here's the thing; Cassy isn't broken. She never was. She says she's weak and that she truly doesn't serve a purpose, especially since Nephilims are abominations. In reality, she's strong. She can push aside her own feelings and problems when needed to get shit done, but in the end she will still breakdown and she will still pick herself back up afterwards.

In Chapter 13: "Of course it's Lucifer. It's always Lucifer." when she has her breakdown, it seems like it comes out of nowhere and it catches Castiel off guard majorly. The reason it happened is because she had certain triggers; certain things that Lucifer said had set her off and the more she thought about them the harder it was to keep herself together. Of course, Castiel didn't understand this so he brought her to Dean in hopes that he could help since he had been with her during other breakdowns.

I didn't make Cassandra Moore like this to glamorize anything. In all honesty, I don't even know why the fuck people glamorize depression, anxiety, suicide, and other mental illnesses. It's sickening and to actually live with it is probably just as bad as Dean's time down in Hell or worse. I made Cassandra like this so that people could relate and see the truth and so that they know they are never alone.

Someone will always want to help, and I've found that the ones that want to help seem to be the ones going through something similar. Cassandra wanted to be a therapist so that no one else had to feel what she felt. She wanted to make sure that no one was ever alone. I picked psychology as her major because 1. that's what I want to do and 2. it helps to show that there will always be someone there for you even if they them self are struggling.

So this is my message of the story; you are never  truly alone. Someone will always be there for you. If you ever need to talk then you can message me on here or DM me on Instagram (@ winchesters_angels). I'll always reply as fast as I can. Always keep fighting because I promise you that it will get better and something good will come out of your struggles. It'll all be worth it in the end.

—Adolescent Suicide Hotline

800-621-4000

—Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline

1-800-999-9999

—Child Abuse Hotline

800-4-A-CHILD

—Domestic Violence Hotline

800-799-7233

—Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse

1-800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)

—Eating Disorders Center

1-888-236-1188

—Gay & Lesbian National Hotline

1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)

—Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine Suicide Prevention

1-800-850-8078

—Rape (People Against Rape)

1-800-877-7252

—Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)

1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

—Runaway Hotline

800-621-4000

—Sexual Assault Hotline

1-800-656-4673

—Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK

—Suicide & Crisis Hotline

1-800-999-9999

—Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine

(Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention).

1-800-850-8078

—IMAlive-online crisis chat

—Teen Helpline

1-800-400-0900