My Rockstar Life

Chapter 2

wнaт ιғ ι can'т ғorgeт yoυ

ι'll вυrn yoυr naмe ιnтo мy тнroaт

ι'll вe тнe ғιre тнaт'll caтcн yoυ

вaвy wнaт'ѕ ѕo good aвoυт pιcĸιng υp тнe pιeceѕ

wнaт ιғ ι don'т even wanт тo....

After about an hour or so Joseph finally left me to my thoughts. I wasn't really paying him any attention and I guess he finally got the hint. I lay here for hours just listening to Vic's voice. It's pretty soothing actually. I love how he sings from his pain. Self harm. Who would've guessed HE would've self harmed himself. I honestly can't wait to meet him. Like I'd love to just have a convo with him, get to know him. Now I know most of you are thinking oh you're too young. Actually not really. Vic's only 31 so shut up.

I woke up from my nap in a great mood. I hadn't noticed I fell asleep but I felt amazing. I took a quick shower and tried to tame my long wavy hair. I'm black and Hispanic so my hair is so long and wavy but it's also thick and it annoys me. I did my makeup just the way joe likes it. I was so rude to him earlier and I should go make up with him. I roamed my closet looking for something he likes. I found my black and white skinny jeans with a purple tank top that says he's mine on it. Joe got it for me on my 15th birthday even though he wasn't mine yet. I found my purple and white converse and slipped them on. I looked in the mirror almost satisfied with myself. I fumbled through my jewelry box until I found my purple and white tunnels. Perfect! I called my mom when I left to tell her I was going over to Joseph's for a while. I hadn't realized how hungry I was so I stopped by McDonalds on my way and I picked Joe up food as well. He's always craving McDonalds. He's such a fatty. Well he's skinny but he eats so much! Finally after ten minutes of crappy pandora music I pulled up to Joes house. I checked myself one last time and made sure I looked perfect for him and grabbed his food. I knocked but there was no answer. His car is here. I used the key he gave me to go inside and I kinda wish I hadn't done that. When I walked inside I saw Joseph and his.. EX?! They were naked and doing things I can never get out of my head. I stood there in horror for about a minute before I dropped his things. He looked up and saw me. He jumped up and tried to rush to me but I ran out of there in tears before he could say anything. I quickly got in my car and sped away. I called E'Laura and told her to meet me at the park where we all met.

I got there ten minutes before she did and I slumped under a tree and cried until she got there.

"Hey dude what's going on?" I looked up at her and I knew I looked a mess by the look she gave me.

"I just caught Joe and Maggie having sex."

"Aww damn bummer dude." She sat down next to me. "Told you that guy was no good."

"I'm not really up for hearing any I told you so's right now." I pulled my legs up to my chest and buried my head in them. "I feel so stupid. I put on his favorite outfit. I wore his favorite perfume. I went and bought him food. I even picked up his favorite movies for us to watch together." At this point I was sobbing and was barely able to speak. "Come on dude lets go back to my house. You're too unstable to drive so I will."

We pulled up to E'Lauras house and I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. I just say there and cried. I know I should be stronger than this but I couldn't help it. I mean how could you do this to someone that has given you four long years of their life? Was I really that bad of a girlfriend? Was I really that terrible of a person? I wanted to just stare him in the face and just ask him why he could do this to me? Granted I have been out of it for the last few days but I get like this every year around my birthday. He should know this by now. Has he done this every year? Does he cheat on me every year before my birthday when I'm out of it because I'm too out of it to pay attention?

I sat there for an hour alone before I got out and walked to my car. I texted E'Laura and told her I bailed. I just wanna lie in my bed and cry. When I finally made it home Autumn was sitting at the kitchen table holding a box. I wasn't really up for conversation so I ignored it and pushed toward the stairs. "Alaysia?"

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"What about?"

"I found these in your closet today." She handed me a box filled with my razor blades. "Mija are you cutting again?" I just stood there staring at the ground. "I asked you a question!"

"Yes." I whispered silently.

"I thought we were done with this. I thought that when we got rid of them last time you were done with this cutting thing!" I felt my eyes stinging as she yelled at me even more.

"Joseph cheated on me..." I said barely above a whisper. She realized I was crying so she softened her tone a bit. "What? How do you know?"

"I saw him with Maggie..."

"Oh mija I'm so sorry."

"It's fine I guess. I'll get over it eventually. I'm gonna go lie down." Before Autumn could say anything else I ran upstairs to my room. I threw myself on my bed and I cried myself to sleep. A few days passed by and I barely left out of my room. Joe stopped by a few times and I heard either Autumn or my mom telling him that I was gone. I guess Autumn broke the news to my mom a few days back because she hasn't brought him up at all. It had been a while since I had said anything to anyone and it was finally Saturday. Saturday. The day I get to go to the house of blues and finally meet Vic. One of the guys I look up to. The guy that I have a thing for ( even though we've never met) and I can finally meet him today. I guess you can say for the first time in days, I can finally smile about something.