The Intervention

The Mending

"Look at me."

This time it is easy to refuse his cajoling whisper, my eyes stubbornly stay focused on his chest. His fingers tilt my face up, my eyes look through him. I am being difficult. I know its not helping me to resist a founding member but I'm far too angry at J'onn to yield.

"I understand that you are grieving but you have to talk to me."

Grieving? He thinks I'm grieving. Angry, I tug my face away from him fingers, my emotionless voice correcting him.

"I am not grieving."

Grieving is the last thing I am doing, everything in my head is merely anger and hatred. There is no space left for the sorrow of loss. The mere presence of the Martian is enough to irritate me, the beautiful memories with him serving only to highlight the contrast in his demeanor. Warm red eyes now cold, soothing voice now merely clinical and the once tender touches now detached.

His hands fall to his sides as he regards me with his stock still posture, his voice softening for once.

"Then what are you feeling?"

"Anger." My spiteful eyes cause the alien red ones to momentarily widen.

The large green fingers capture my hand, delicately pressing my palm to a broad green chest. His alien heart beats against its cage, each throb transferring to my palm.

"It is my turn to apologize. It was not my intention to abandon you in your time of need."

"I understand," I pull my hand away from his beating pulse. "I don't know who I am anymore either."

Tears fight their way through my defenses, only to be caught by green fingers before they fall. Refusing to find solace in his arms I pull away from him, glaring at him without the previous heat.

"What do you want J'onn?"

"Answers. How did you start the fire?"

"J'onn, I can't make you believe what you don't want to, what I told you before is the truth. I don't know how any of it happened. I didn't have a reason to set fire to anything. I have never wanted to set fire to anything in the first place. None of this is me. I'm equally, if not more confused than you are."

We consider each other for a silent minute before the Martian voices one of my concerns.

"How did you build your mind defense?"

"I just built it... I felt betrayed and abandoned when you blocked my thoughts and it just happened.."

He carefully takes my face in his hands, wiping away the nearly dried tear tracks. Red eyes start glowing as he tries once more to read my mind. It hurts. My mind protests heavily, temples pulsing in pain, my nails dig into his wrists to pry his hands away but he doesn't budge. Both of us in equal pain as he tries to force himself into my mind. My soft whimper snaps him out his assault, his features softening into an apologetic, regretful mask before he abruptly stands, phasing out of my room without so much as a word.

Everything feels raw, my mind screaming in pain, I collapse onto the bed. I need to sleep, his attempt at invasion having resulted in a massive headache. I need pain medicine. There's no way this headache will allow me to fall asleep.

Its difficult to retrace my steps to the med bay I was first laying in. Each twist and turn takes me to different corridors and rooms. Doesn't anyone keep watch over this place? And why isn't Mr. Dark and Broody not stopping me? Surely his cameras have picked up on me walking about like a shepherd-less sheep in his precious watchtower. Isn't he the least bit concerned that I might blow this pile of metal up? If none of these superheroes bother to turn up I'm going to smash whatever is smash-able with my human strength!