This Thing Between Us

now

11th September 2017

I know there is an alternative universe where we made it.

Where we live happily ever after and you got that job you wanted and I never met someone else.

I know there is an alternative universe where you are just enough for me.

But I live in this reality, where you're packing up your boxes and moving out of an apartment that still belongs to you.

You are standing there, your black shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and your muscles flexing as you put the last box into the van. You refused to hire a professional moving company, even though I promised you you wouldn't finish it. And yet you did, as I watched and tried to ignore the sadness on your face grow.

It is a beautiful day today.

The sky is painted a deep blue, it is very much like the first sky.

It reminds me of the smell of sweet strawberries and coffee.

It reminds me of the day we met.

It hurts to know that this may be the last sky I see with you. The image of a beautiful boy under a beautiful sky forever burned in the back of my memory.

I've written a million books about you and me. I've made millions off of your love.

But you never accused me of using you. You never once made me feel bad about all the bad things I've done.

I've become my own villain, because you wouldn't take that role. I've become so many things throughout our history, but satisfied was never one of them.

You once told me, when we first met, to never fall in love with a poet. Because they will break you in the most beautiful way possible.

I thought the moment was all too perfect: a cute young boy telling me something cute in the middle of a cute little café. So I stayed a while. A few hours in fact. And you told me why you moved to LA, and how you got the job as a barista in café no one ever visits. You told me it doesn't pay well but it pays enough.

I've written about that moment before. I wrote about it when I first got home, then I wrote about it when I first fell in love, and then I wrote about it after our first argument. Every time the setting changed. There were different emotions, higher highs, and lower lows. But there was one thing that never changed. And that was you.

I am leaning against the apartment buildings door, my arms are crossed and I'm trying my best to stay cold.

You are staring into the van, pretending to be preoccupied.

We both pretend not to be effected by this sudden ending; we both pretend not to want to start over.I pretend not to want to ask you to come back inside, and you pretend you'd say no anyway.

It is a beautiful day today.

And I am a poet you fell in love with.

And I broke your heart even though I said I wouldn't.

I look up to the sun, and I know you're probably doing the same.

In the moment, I soak it all in. The van, the warmth, the ending. It is almost too perfect for a horrible heart break. The way you look today, the way you felt last night, the way you'll be nothing by tomorrow.

I know this is all my fault that you're nearly gone, but I can still hear your laugh, and I can still taste your lips.

And I know I shouldn't but I still need your reassurance, I still need to know you don't hate me.

So I walk up to you.

You think I've already gone back inside, that I can't bare to see you go.

But I can and I will.

"Is that everything?", I say.

You look down at me, and it takes you a minute to adjust to the light, but I admire every second of it. Your freckles jiggle as your eyes squint. And your lips pucker up as you arms unfold.

You see me, and I see you, but you don't say anything. You shake your head and walk to the van.

With every step forwards, my heart clenches. You open up the van door, and say, "I'll be back this time tomorrow to pick up the rest. But don't worry, I won't stay for long."

I have seen a million skies, Sam, but none of them hurt as much as this one.

A/N. Hi. This is my first public story. I write a lot, so I thought, why not share it to the whole world. If the whole world cares, that is. This book is inspired by a lot of things. Books I've read, movies I've seen, but mostly stories that I myself have experienced.
This book may get a tad bit depressing, so *trigger warning* for you folks there. If there is anything that might be upsetting I'll do my best to let you know.
I'm rather excited for this, as I've been going through a ruff patch, I find writing helps me a lot.
But enough about me, this story is about Noah & Sam *spoiler alert*, these are two boys that a v homo, so get y'all nohomo asses out of here.
Without further a due, this is, *drum role* this thing between us!!!!
*clapping* thank you thank you settle down settle down.
Hope you like this piece of garbage (I literally started ten mins ago so)

Byyyye