Trying again

Tris pov~~

Its the anniversary no ones looking forward to. Its a date we all wish was just another number not a day to remember.

There's to many anniversarys through the year we'd be in the cemetery every week so instead every year all of us-Tobias,Zeke,Christina and Shauna- come here on November 3rd: The day I killed David.

Uriadh.

Marlene.

Lynn.

There all beside each other. The way they would be if they were alive.

Will.

Al.

Edward.

Shot in the chest. Jumped off the chasm. A butter knife through the eye.

Jeanine.

Eric.

David.

'The monsters' Christina calls them as she fiercely wipes a tear from her eye

Zeke spits on Eric's grave and we all follow.

There's More .Too many for a group of teenagers to have to mourn.

Zeke and Shauna leave together and Christina goes off on her own.

I'm worried about her but Tobias holds me harder then usual as if he let's go I'll fade away...

Tobias pov~~

After we've finished visiting Tris's parents and are walking out the cemetarys iron gate I stop.

"Tobias..?" Tris whispers, she must have noticed how I was acting weird today

I don't awnser her.

"Tobias! Awnser me, what's wrong?" Tris shouts.

"Tris"I say suddenly grabbing her by the chin. "Do you not get this?"

"Get what?"

"You don't understand" I turn away from, refusing to let her see me break.

"Tobias please..."

"You could be dead!" I shout at her "You didn't think did you? Did you not think about how I'd be Tris.... Tris" I look at her solidly "You tryed to sacrafice your own life after you promised you wouldn't....again"

Tris's pale blue eyes stare back into my own asking a question that can't be put into words

"When I came in" I start "Cara told me you had survived the death serum but had be shot....she didn't know if you were going to make it. When I got to the hospital they were only wheeling you in. I tried to hold your hand but the doctors wouldn't let me. They had to sedate me when they were working on you..." I can't continue because the tears I'd kept in since she woke up came pouring out.

"I'm sorry" Tris whispers wrapping her arms around my neck.

I stiffen as I usually do these days and when Tris let's her arms go limp, shamefully pulling away I see the tears in her eyes.

I know I should comfort her, hold her, tell her I love her but I can't when I know I could have been visiting her grave today...