Words from a broken heart

Good bye

Goodbye

If I could just tell you. Explain to you with out breaking out in tears, I would. This conversation is to hard to talk about. Many possibilities. Many disappointments. I need to give up everything I have. I need to leave everything behind. I don't want to start a clean slate but I don't have a choice. It's hard, going back and forth. I wish it wasn't but it is. To many times has it been said. And I guess this is one more. We talk we always we do but what happens when that talk is no longer there. In a perfect world we would stay close and this wouldn't be hard, but in reality it's like facing all your fears at the same time. How do I do this and still expect the same things.see you later don't work but neither dose good bye. I guess what I'm trying to say is, even when I'm far I still want to be close. Time seems to separate and distance draws us closer. Please don't get lost, I know we will always find our ways. I felt so many emotions writing this anger, sadness, worry, and guilt. Guilty for leaving you stranded. Sadness, because we are closer than peas in a pod, and I don't want to destroy that. Worry, that no matter how hard I try, you won't notice cuz your stubborn like that, and anger. Angry because if I leave I will be forgotten and no matter how much you deny it I know I will be which is why I am writing this. So that if this is our final goodbye, I want to make it a damn good one. This is almost starting to sound like a suicide note, it would hurt you too much to make it one tho. Through all of my moments to the days where it's only me, I really do give you more than you think. All those re-told stories, the days where I did your work so you can pass a class. If I died tho, I would look selfish and I'm not. No matter what happens I'm only leaving for a little bit. Either way you will miss me,either way you will forget me, but this is suppose to be a happy goodbye, not the hardest one of you life. I'm starting to think you don't deserve this. The more thought I put into it the more I realize I'm just wasting my time. The shit I go through isn't worth the penny you give. This friendship is nice and all but I don't like fake things. So after all this writing after all these tears, go ahead and forget about me, go ahead and speak my name in vain, I'll just remember that fake things never last long anyways.

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So this wasn't really a poem but I did write this. I was going through a lot of emotions in the process so if it's weird I'm sorry.